Viewing both the mainstream and LGBT media, it appears as if only LGBT people are upset with President Barack Obama's lack of leadership on LGBT issues. I am straight and I too think the president has not moved fast enough on civil rights issues.
But the media discourse does not capture my growing impatience, and that undermines the struggle for equality in the United States. Take for instance the language in the Bay Area Reporter 's June 18 article, "Gays furious at Obama, DOJ." Like the language in most other news stories, the article misrepresents the fight as one of an isolated group: "LGBT activists" or "lesbian and gay leaders" in opposition to the government.
Other examples include: CNN, "Some gays say Obama hasn't kept promises;" Fox, "... activists have complained that Obama has not followed through on his campaign promises on issues they hold dear and has not championed their causes;" and the San Francisco Chronicle , "Obama angers gays with marriage law defense."
Framing the fury as owned only by LGBT people is inaccurate and counterproductive. It silos fundamental civil rights issues into gay issues. The frame absolves the moderate, straight American majority from engaging as active participants in eliminating discrimination and intolerance toward fellow Americans.
I invested great sums of energy, money and hope in a new path for our country by supporting Senator Obama during his presidential campaign. I went door-to-door in the snow of Iowa and the desert of Nevada. I attended fundraisers and hosted them. I'd like to believe that I was responsible for at least a few hundred of his votes. I didn't volunteer so he could dillydally on delivering the change he promised.
President Obama is in a unique position to frame tough issues and shape public opinion. He has been eager to lecture black men about responsible fatherhood, Russians on the virtues of capitalism and Arabs on peaceful coexistence with Israel - all areas where the president has little direct control. It is easy to score political points confronting those groups, but he seems unwilling to take on the more challenging and risky task of lecturing (largely white) Americans about their prejudices.
He has been too silent. Maybe his (lack of) words are part of a deliberate strategy, but they sometimes come off as condescending, or even cowardly. Recognizing the 40th anniversary of the Stonewall Riots at the White House, Obama addressed disappointed gay and lesbian leaders and said, "I suspect by the time this administration is over, I think you guys will have pretty good feelings about the Obama administration."
He missed the point. The urgency to act is neither about him nor the feelings gays and lesbians will have about him. The urgency is about the immigration, tax and health benefits that are lost today and every day. It's about the men and women who are not entitled to the pensions of their late life partners. It's about the dishonorable discharge of a good soldier. It is all about the daily indignity that comes with second-class citizenship.
Obama is a student of Dr. King's letter from a Birmingham jail and should know better. To paraphrase, injustice that affects one affects all, and a powerful man cannot set a timetable for another's freedom. Equality in military service and marriage are ripe for vocal leadership now.
Throughout the campaign, Obama committed to ending "Don't Ask, Don't tell." As the commander-in-chief, he should be bold enough to change a shameful policy now and let public opinion catch up. Aside from the moral imperative, there is now a political window of opportunity because we are at war.
If the President and Congress are too cowardly to change existing discriminatory policies on the basis of fundamental fairness, they have an out. They can frame their decision as a strategic necessity to win the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. The armed forces have discharged over 12,000 gay and lesbian soldiers since 1994. His rhetorical gifts should be able to persuade Americans that a stack of untranslated Al Qaeda intercepts is scarier than two guys kissing.
Regarding marriage, Senator Obama said, "I believe that marriage is between a man and a woman." Sure he said it, but he didn't mean it. Right? Young. Biracial. Son of a Muslim. Democrat. World traveler. Constitutional law scholar. Smart guy. Surely this man, whose ascent was based on the ability to bring all of us together, of all men is open-minded enough to know that separate institutions are inherently unequal.
It seemed an acceptable bargain to me at the time. Wink, say what you need to say now, then do the right thing when you win. Senator Chris Dodd (D-Connecticut) offered a persuasive template for changing opinions on gay marriage when he said last month that he began to think of the issue as one of fundamental fairness rather than tradition. Even former President Bill Clinton, who signed the Defense of Marriage Act into law, now supports marriage equality.
Ending discrimination against capable soldiers and adults who love each other is a fight for all of us, not just gays and lesbians. Progress will continue to be slow as long as the media presents this pivotal chapter in American history as benefiting a small, angry minority.
There are human stories that Obama can invoke to make this an historic moment of leadership and progress. You must help him by reminding all Americans, straight and gay, that we are diminished as long as discrimination remains legal.
Nicolas King lives in San Francisco with his family and is a legislative aide to San Francisco Supervisor Bevan Dufty.