One of the Pride Month programs on KQED public television last month was about the older LGBT population in San Francisco. The commentator said that we are often reluctant to seek housing and services in traditional retirement places for fear of social rejection and lack of compassion about our unique ways of thought and expression.
I am fortunate to have discovered just the opposite since residing at the Sequoias-San Francisco retirement home for the past eight months. At least 10 percent of the residents are gay or lesbian, and there are many more who are likely suspects. There is an open acknowledgment of LGBT acceptance from the president, the executive director, and the admissions director all the way through to an "Inclusion Committee" comprised of fellow residents.
Many of the gay and lesbian residents at the Sequoias told me they came here because they do not have a support network of children or close relatives to care for them if they become infirm in the future. They wish to remain in San Francisco and participate in many of our urban social and cultural opportunities, and yet they are realistic that they may someday need supportive assistance with daily needs.
Planning ahead is essential to living in this type of "Lifecare Community." Unlike assisted living places or nursing homes, a person must be in relatively good health and pass a physical exam before being accepted into an independent living apartment (studio, one or two bedroom).
All meals, housekeeping, and some internal entertainment, educational, and cultural events (including nearby trips by van) are included at no extra charge. You are free to come and go as you please, just like you are in your own condo or apartment. At any time you may have guests stay with you or eat in the dining room.
What is most appealing to the gay and lesbian residents I know at the Sequoias is that doctors and nurses are available within the building, and each apartment has emergency call buttons. If a resident needs care when returning home from surgery, or if they have an illness or injury, he or she is attended to in their apartment or on the assisted living floor or on the skilled nursing floor, depending on the person's needs. All of the caregiving and building staff have received inclusiveness training and are aware of LGBT and other cultural issues. No person would ever be ostracized or denied services because they are different, and there is an established complaint procedure if a resident wishes to be heard.
And how well are the gay and lesbian residents integrated with the straight population at the Sequoias? Two gay men and a lesbian have been elected to the Residents Council (the highest ranking committee of resident organizers), and two have served as president, the equivalent of being student class president!
As in any community, there are some jerks with political views that are unlike mine. But the gay man with the earring and the lesbian having dinner here with her girlfriend are never made to feel unwelcome or discouraged. I have only lived in three San Francisco neighborhoods before: the Polk in the 1970s; the Castro in the 1980s and 1990s; and Noe Valley through 2007. Now, life at the Sequoias on Cathedral Hill is not at all like I have returned to the closety Midwest.