Leather: What's Your Fetish?
I am beginning a new series about the various fetishes enjoyed and explored by our community. Entries in the series will pop up from time to time, space permitting. Depending on what's going on in our community at the time, some columns will focus on latest news. When not focusing on the latest news, I'll focus on a particular fetish. My goal is to provide some education about little known fetishes, clarification of some that are well known, or just give some basic information. Sometimes I'll be serious, sometimes humorous, and sometimes with tongue firmly planted in cheek.
Top. Bottom. Switch. Power Bottom. Versatile Pushy Bottom. Pushy Top. These are some of the names we call ourselves. Maybe I shouldn't say 'names' but should say 'identifiers.' We use these names to identify ourselves - sometimes jokingly, usually seriously.
Why would I talk about tops and bottoms in an article about fetishes? That's simple. I believe that for many of us being a top or bottom or vers is a fetish. When we think of fetishes today, we imagine more overt things like flogging, electric play, fisting, pissing, or bondage. Ask any serious power bottom and you might be surprised to realize that being a bottom is as much of a fetish as submitting to a dom when being tied up, or whatever their other fetish might be. You might also be surprised that being a bottom or top is their only fetish. It's all they are "into" and focus on. Nothing wrong with that.
It's my opinion that being a top or bottom is, with some exceptions, everyone's first fetish. That's what we first get into. That's what we first experiment with. Usually it's fucking. Giving or receiving. When flirting, it's one of the first things negotiated when things begin to get serious. Who will be the bottom and who will be the top, or if both will be (or all if there's more than one person involved).
It's the same for any fetish. Some enjoy the negotiation process (aka "the chase") as much or more than the actual acting on the fetish. Even when we progress into other fetishes, we still experiment with being a top or bottom. Do we like to tie up or be tied up? Maybe both? For the purpose of this article, I'll stick with the basics: fucking.
Man, do bottoms get a bad rap. How many times do we hear the derogatory phrase "Oh he's just a bottom?" It's always meant as a slam. The bottom is less of a man, or less of a person, or less of anything. But always less. We're all guilty of this. When did that negativity start? Is it because the bottom is considered more passive so therefore more feminine, the "female role?" Or is it because it's assumed the bottom doesn't do much, and just lays there? Nothing could be further from the truth.
It really does take a real man to be a good bottom. Joke as we want, we know that's true. Tops don't have to prepare as much. Thank God for the Shower Shot, possibly the greatest invention since Gutenburg's printing press. It definitely is close, at least in my book. Bottoms don't just hose out. Oh no. We have to watch what we eat as well. Any serious bottom will watch his diet if he thinks he's going to get fucked later that day or night. Nobody likes surprises. For any serious bottom, especially a power bottom, nothing is more embarrassing.
Power bottoms, as some are called, are bottoms who can take a long hard fucking without complaint or serious discomfort. Lots of bottoms out there enjoy getting fucked, but after a while they peter out (so to speak). Power bottoms not only take a good fucking, they usually like it in the form of a gangbang. All night.
That brings me to that other greatest invention since the printing press: the sling. The sling is a bottom's (power or not) best friend. Get a power bottom comfy in a sling and he'll take it all night. Happily so. There's nothing better than the look on a satisfied power bottom's face. Watching a power bottom in action would be a close second. Having what I call an "ass orgasm" is an incredible feeling. Having an ass orgasm and then coming while still getting fucked? Heaven!
Tops normally don't get a bad rap. To this day, guys still say they're a top whether they are or not. They think it makes them more masculine, more sexy. A real top will know that's crazy. A real top will enjoy fucking. Domination is key. Taking control of the bottom is an incredible feeling. Having a bottom completely give himself to you is the ultimate in satisfaction. Likewise, feeling a bottom cum while fucking him is one of the best sensations ever. Many times this will cause a top to cum right away.
But tops don't have it that easy either. The pressure is on to "perform." Gotta keep it hard. If a top isn't hard, a rude bottom will brush him off. Is it any wonder we have such elixirs like Viagra, Cialis, and Caverjack? A soft top is a lonely top.
But it doesn't stop there. The top then has to keep his stamina up. Power bottoms are merciless in their constant need for satiation. The sweat that drips off a top who's really working it is a huge turn on. Then there's the build up, those moments before he cums.
It's hot to watch a top who's literally on top of you, looking down, sweating, and then he convulses into his orgasm. Yep, that'll get a bottom to cum. But stay inside the bottom as he's cumming. Nothing's so tacky as a top who pulls out right away. Enjoy it a bit. And if you can, stay inside until you have to piss. That'll get the bottom going, or cummin', or just happy. And warm.
The best of both worlds. That's what they have. Talk about good exercise! Going back and forth from top to bottom all night can really test one's stamina. Getting fucked while fucking is another one-of-a-kind feeling. Ah, more Heaven! It seems that in the past few years or so more and more guys are versatile. Either that or maybe more and more guys are simply being honest, no longer afraid of the stigma attached to being a bottom.
In the end, we'll probably still make jokes about bottoms and judge tops for not performing. That's okay. Who cares? As long as we're having fun, right? Besides, as I like to say: It don't mean a thing if you ain't in that sling.
Where's Andy Cross?
Speaking of tops and bottoms, what's up with Andy Cross lately? You know, our intrepid International Mr. Leather/Mr. SF Leather/Mr. Powerhouse Leather and all around sexy, charming man. Well, he's just been all over the place. I haven't seen him in person in a while, but that's not because he hasn't been in town. He has. I just didn't get a chance to experience his smile and charm in person.
Obviously he was here for Folsom Street Fair. He then traipsed off to Houston to judge the Mr. Third Coast Leather contest, followed by more judging at the Mr. Renegade Leather contests in L.A. He came back for Halloween (as he should, it's one of our high holy days in San Francisco), and cohosted the 'Freak Show' at the Eagle as well as traveling a tad south to judge the Mr. & Ms. Santa Clara County Leather contest.
But no, Cross is not judgmental - no he's not! He's just being asked to judge lots of contests, like the Mr. Palm Springs Leather contest (part of their fantastic Palm Springs Leather Pride Weekend).
What really sounds like fun is an event he's going to in December: The 12 Kinks of Christmas. Now, that should be fun. That's going to be in Michigan with Woody Woodruff. I wonder if we can get the two of them to negotiate who's top and who's bottom, and then give us videos of the result? Andy, pretty please?