It's been a few months since I went on national television and allowed talk show host and self-help guru Iyanla Vanzant to "fix" my life in front of millions of viewers. Since then, my life hasn't been the same. I cried like a baby on national TV; but I hope my tears offer someone strength in forging ahead to live their truth for an authentic life.
Right now, I feel like the revolution is being televised, as the LGBT community gains momentum with gay rights, same-sex marriage, and even the images of same-sex relationships on network television. We've come a long way, but there's more work to do. Still, as I sit in my Virginia home, I feel like the timing of my coming out is on the backs of the many nameless and faceless LGBT activists in the San Francisco area who put their lives on the line, and pushed the gay movement forward when it wasn't particularly socially acceptable or politically correct. It's because of their courage and will that we're able to feel a little more comfortable in our skin today. Certain pivotal people, events and circumstances pushed the gay agenda forward, and the social changes of the 1960s and 1970s continue to reverberate to this day.
I have to admit, growing up in Virginia, I wasn't aware of San Francisco's imprint on gay rights and the gay movement until I watched the biopic Milk about politician and activist Harvey Milk. In 2009, as a gay pastor, I was finally coming to terms with my sexuality and discovering a new path to spirituality and religion with God. Yet, after watching the film and doing more research on Milk's life and San Francisco, the city resonated with me with a sense of progressiveness, and a "back to the future" connection.
I wasn't born when the gay rights movement came to life in San Francisco during the 1960s, yet, its impact on my life and others is significant. In fact, the gay rights moment is extremely impactful to me, especially within the context of spirituality and ethnicity. The civil rights movement was led by religious leaders like Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X; and other groups feeling marginalized by the majority added fuel to the fight for equality �" namely the gays and the feminists.
According to an essay titled, "A Turning Point" by Will Roscoe, published in 1960, interestingly, religious leaders had a hand in gay activism as well. It states: " ... several liberal ministers became concerned with homosexual rights and formed the Council on Religion and the Homosexual. Later that year, CRH sponsored a New Year's ball for the gay community. When the police showed up in force and arrested several of the ministers, the outcry that followed placed an effective restraint on police harassment."
Because of the efforts of these brave ministers, who were on the right side of history, I can now live without any fear, intimidation or second thoughts as a faith leader, and help others come to terms with their faith and sexuality, embracing an alternative lifestyle.
As a licensed and ordained pastor, I am concerned with the increasing disenfranchisement of many gays and gay leaders because of a lack of acceptance by the church.
Although society is becoming more accepting of gay people, gay rights and even gay marriage, there still lingers the stigma of being gay, especially in the black church. And it's because of homophobia in the faith community that many African Americans in the LGBT community suppress their truth and hide in the closet for fear of religious shaming and rejection.
Religious leaders preach at a fever pitch that affection toward the same sex is an abomination, according to Old Testament scriptures in the Bible. And because of these teachings, many in the African American LGBT community are sidelined, diminished, and conflicted in their faith.
Well, Vanzant "fixed" me. After getting beyond the shame, hurt, unforgiveness, and confusion about my sexuality, I'm now in a good place to allow God to use me as a vessel of hope and light for members of the LGBT community. I realized there are myriad opportunities to support this "liberation" for all people, specifically with special emphasis on LGBTs. I feel renewed. As a pastor, my calling is the same, but my mission is crystal clear: to affirm the pursuit of happiness for gay people like me.
I'm really impressed by the gay activism of San Francisco in the 1970s. Because of their social and political activism, there was "a mass coming out of gay people" who dealt with police harassment head on," according to Roscoe's aforementioned article.
The greatest freedom realized both directly and indirectly from the San Francisco Movement is the ability to worship. There are many houses of worship that welcome and affirm people of all ages, colors, creeds, religion, sexual orientation and ethnic background. We must truly worship in a spirit of acceptance and truth, loving our neighbors as ourselves.
As mentioned earlier, the church often pushes its gay members aside, and casts us into eternal damnation. I believe this negative receptivity is steeped in the tradition of fear, ignorance, control and manipulation.
As a man of God, who happens to be gay, I offer loving support and empowerment from God to anyone who seeks his word. We all have a greater purpose on this earth, and we deserve the right to discover that purpose through fellowship within our chosen religious affiliation. And this fellowship doesn't have to take place in a church, temple or sanctuary; but God is present when two or three people are gathered together in fellowship, kinship and love. (Matthew 18:20)
Pastor Mitchell L. Jones is a gay pastor and appears on OWN's Iyanla: Fix My Life. He launched a new LGBT advice column called "Ask Pastor Jones" on his Facebook fan page to address questions about faith and sexuality as well as other LGBTQ-related questions from friends and followers on social media platforms. For more information, visit http://pitch.pe/1Nr537u. For an interview with Jones, see the Bay Area Reporter's Sampler column at http://ebar.com/news/article.php?sec=news&article=71037. Follow Jones on Twitter and Instagram at @AskPastorJones.