Ron Oden, the out gay mayor of Palm Springs, exhibited poor judgment when he decided to welcome homophobic Focus on the Family and one of its sham "Love Won Out" conferences to his city later this month. Oden, as has been widely reported on LGBT news sites, wrote that he was "so proud" to have the conference in town even though it preaches "the truth that homosexuality is preventable and treatable." Last week, Oden said he regretted the use of the word "proud," but the damage has been done. With that letter, Wayne Besen, a longtime critic of the ex-gay movement points out, Oden gave an "undeserved platform to an extremist group that claims he and others like him are mentally ill and morally inferior."
The ex-gay movement is nothing more than rabid homophobes, many of whom are gay themselves and obviously have internalized homophobia. Besen, on his Web site, recounts the history of the ex-gays, noting that early attempts to legitimize the group Exodus International (an umbrella organization for ex-gay groups) almost disintegrated "because participants kept sleeping with each other." Two early founders, Gary Cooper and Michael Bussee, later acknowledged that they had not changed and were in love with each other. "They soon divorced their wives, moved in together, and eventually had a commitment ceremony," Besen writes.
Several ex-gays have been uncovered as frauds, according to Besen. The biggest example being famous ex-gay poster boy John Paulk, who appeared on the cover of Newsweek with his "ex-lesbian" wife Anne under the headline "Gay for Life?" In September 2000, Paulk was photographed by Besen cruising in a Washington, D.C. gay bar. He was suspended as chairman of Exodus and put on temporary hiatus by Focus on the Family, where he ran Love Won Out.
The conferences, of course, are nothing short of harmful, as virtually all mainstream mental health professionals have come to realize. By preaching that gays can become straight through so-called reparative therapy, Focus on the Family sends a dangerous message to people who may be struggling with their sexual identity.
So these are the types of people who are apparently attracted to such conferences – people who are made to hate themselves because they're gay. Besen, who's spent years documenting and discounting the ex-gay movement, suggests that the best way to counter the negative influence of ex-gay groups is by highlighting the truth and revealing their failed history. "Showing an honest portrayal of gay life also greatly diminishes the effectiveness of these groups," Besen notes. "When people learn that God loves them for who they are and that they can be gay and happy, the appeal of these dangerous groups invariably wanes."
Focus on the Family undoubtedly decided to hold one of its conferences in Palm Springs because of the city's large gay population. But we believe the group won't find many converts. Today's gays, for the large part, are happy with who they are and more and more come out every day. Times have changed from the darker days of decades past, when institutionalized discrimination effectively forced many gays to remain in the closet. And with so many support groups and community activities to choose from – particularly in cities such as San Francisco and Palm Springs, which both have large gay populations – most people can find the help that they need. Of course, the military, with its anti-gay "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," remains a glaring exception to this greater acceptance of gays and lesbians.
Oden, who has accepted a speaking invitation to the upcoming Love Won Out conference, should use his time to sharply rebuke the philosophy behind the ex-gay movement. As someone who came out later in life, he could turn the tables on organizers and challenge the group's leaders on their scientifically and theologically flawed arguments.
But next time, Mr. Mayor, please don't misuse the word "proud" when writing to anti-gay groups. It gives them a legitimacy they don't deserve.