Robert Charlesworth Agee

  • Wednesday April 15, 2015
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July 5, 1937 - April 3, 2015

Our dear friend, brother, father Robert Charlesworth Agee did go "gentle into that good night," in his own bed, on Good Friday, April 3, 2015. A longtime HIV/AIDS and cancer survivor, Bob was living fully until his passing. Those who knew him knew that he was a gentle man, an old soul, an inquisitive spiritual seeker. Bob was open minded, adventurous, valiant, forgiving. He had the rare wisdom to know how to move from anger to love, from strife to acceptance, from forlorn to light­bearing.

Bob was born July 5, 1937, to an eastern Pennsylvania family that included two brothers, Bill and Tom Agee. His parents passed when Bob was in high school and that event shaped his life in ways that he did not at the time foresee. Bob served in the United States Army, with assignment in Germany. He was trained as a Morse code translator, and also worked as a chaplain's assistant. At the University of Oklahoma, Bob majored in business and mathematics. Later he studied computer programming in San Francisco. He married and had one daughter, Laurie Agee, now a well­known Gottman certified marriage and family therapist in San Francisco and Marin County.

In the 1960s Bob moved to San Francisco, enamored with the countercultural revolution, in search of acceptance of his gay sexuality, and in pursuit of answering life's most important question �" who am I? In San Francisco, Bob developed his career at Decimus Corporation and Bank of America, and he helped write code for the first credit card authorization program. While working, he simultaneously began successfully investing in real estate and the stock market, and exploring his spirituality. From the 1960s until his passing Bob practiced meditation, studied theology and philosophy, from John the Baptist to Yogananda, from Buddha to Christ, from St Teresa of Avila to Carl Jung and Krishnamurti, to name a few.

Bob was also a devout student of history, an avid traveler, and a walking enthusiast. He loved watching seagulls at Baker Beach, or walking in Golden Gate Park (especially Stow Lake) alone or with friends.

Bob loved books, theatre, movies, music, museums, and antiquing. He was a member of San Francisco's three major museums and visited them often. At home, on Chattanooga Street, Bob found the best refuge of all �" his beloved garden.

For over 30 years, Bob and his brothers went fishing each summer in upstate New York. During those quiet times he could track his life with those who always knew him. He delighted to see how with each passing year his brothers seemingly grew to love and understand him from a perspective that was less encumbered with culture or ideology.

Bob had two partners after divorcing his wife: Bobby Scott and Curt Wyatt, who predeceased him. The greatest love of his life, however, was his daughter, Laurie. He loved her in ways he did not always fully understand. He was never happier than when Laurie was happy. His heart was in perfect harmony when he and Laurie were aligned.

In addition to his daughter and brothers, Bob is survived by many longtime friends, and his support group at the V.A. Hospital, for which he felt much gratitude. Sleep deeply, our dear Bob, and know that you live on in all who love you.

A celebration of Bob's life was held privately in San Francisco. Charitable donations to an AIDS service organization of your choice, or to the National AIDS Memorial Grove at Golden Gate Park, would be most appreciated by Bob's family.