August 10, 1949 — August 22, 2024
James (Jim) Thomas Connor, a prominent gay physician who was well known in San Francisco's social circles, died on August 22, 2024. He was 75. His death was caused by metastatic cancer, according to his spouse, Lewis Sykes.
Jim was born in Trenton, New Jersey, and worked as an emergency room doctor at Veterans Administration Hospitals in Florida and Colorado before moving to California and joining the staff at the Palo Alto VA Medical Center. He never had a private practice, believing strongly that medical care should be accessible to everyone. He was very proud that in his entire career as a government physician, he had never sent a single bill to a patient.
On a foggy evening in 1997, in San Francisco attending a medical conference, Jim asked a cab driver to take him to Twin Peaks, a place he had heard of in Denver. The driver obligingly brought him to the observation lookout atop one of the two mountains below Sutro Tower.
When Jim finally found his way to his intended destination, the Twin Peaks Tavern in the Castro, he fell in love with, as he put it, "the best looking man there."
Sykes had a different take on the story. "I was the ONLY man there," he said.
Whichever version is true, by the time Jim arrived at the Twin Peaks bar, it was closing and too late to order a drink. Sykes invited him to have that drink at his home and the chemistry was instant. Jim and Sykes were partners for 26 years, finally marrying in 2023. Fittingly, the Twin Peaks Tavern remained a big part of their lives ("Our home away from home," they said). And in their actual home, a quirky, extravagantly overstuffed circa 1911 arts and crafts style house, the parties Jim and Sykes hosted were legendary.
Through Sykes' professional life as the special events director for the San Francisco branch of Saks Fifth Avenue, they were well acquainted with many of San Francisco's best-dressed Pacific Heights hostesses, and, clad in tuxedos, the couple often escorted the city's most famous society swans to the symphony, opera, ballet, and charity gala events.
The couple loved to travel and visited Europe many times. Despite frequent trips to Paris, Jim never learned much French. In talking to friends, though, he would often interject "Ah, oui!" explaining that he only knew two French words. "But I say those PERFECTLY," he said.
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