When asked what he remembers about growing up in Gaza City, Ahmed Fouad Alkhatib said that "there was so much beauty amid the death and destruction."
"It was an incredibly complex place in terms of ideology, political violence, the rise of Hamas, but there was hope with the withdrawal of Israeli settlements," Alkhatib, 34, told the Bay Area Reporter in a phone interview. "There were sprawling communities, parks and spaces. ... There were so many fond memories and so many awful memories."
After an Israeli bombing led to deafness in his left ear when he was 11 years old — an attack in which two of his friends were killed — Alkhatib came to the U.S., which he eventually made his home. If that wasn't enough, just about a week after the onset of fighting of the Israel-Hamas war last year, half his family was killed in an Israeli airstrike, he said.
"I struggle with the trauma of losing family members in this fucking war, yet this is bigger than myself and my family," he said. "I want to use the trauma of my family members being killed in this war to break away from the cycle of violence, rinse, and repeat."
Alkhatib was one of several Palestinians the B.A.R. spoke with after a recent press trip to Israel to gauge their thoughts on the war and the broader Israeli-Palestinian conflict. All agreed that they want to see an independent future for their people — and accountability for the Israeli government.
The June 23-27 trip in which the B.A.R. participated was paid for by the American Middle East Press Association, a nonprofit that states it seeks to serve as "a trusted resource for journalists looking for experts and spokespeople on the current conflict and beyond." AMEPA brought two American reporters on the press trip, "Wartime in Israel," with its counterpart, the Europe Israel Press Association, which itself brought 22 journalists from the United Kingdom, Spain, Portugal, Italy, France, Norway, Belgium, the Netherlands, the Czech Republic, and Hungary. Neither organization is funded by the Israeli government, nor was there any preapproval of interview questions, article topics, or requests to view articles before publication. (See related story.)
Gaza war 'inhumane,' human rights lawyer says
Rauda Morcos, a lesbian Palestinian citizen of Israel, was one of the founders of Aswat, a group for Palestinian lesbians. She's now a human rights lawyer.
"Since this war started our work has been, of course, increased due to the increased violence toward Palestinians in the West Bank and also inside Israel," she said in a Signal interview. Morcos added violence in the West Bank had been escalating before October 7.
Indeed, the United Nations reported that over 500 people had been killed in the West Bank since October 7 by Israeli security forces and settlers. In February, President Joe Biden imposed sanctions on "persons undermining peace, security and stability in the West Bank."
Over 38,000 Palestinians have been killed since the onset of the fighting in Gaza, in addition to between 10,000 and 21,000 missing, over 87,000 wounded, and 1.9 million (90% of the population) displaced. Over half the dead are reportedly women and children.
"It's inhumane," Morcos said. "What's happening in Gaza is inhumane."
"If I'm seeing what I'm seeing, I can't think of anything else. I don't know how the rest of the world can have a normal life," she said. "It's only getting worse."
Morcos, 50, said that "everyone who is Palestinian is subject to violence and subject to genocide just because we are Palestinian, not for any other reason."
"In such events, you start thinking of children, of women, of the weakest links of society: the most vulnerable ones. These days, I can't find anyone more or less vulnerable," Morcos said. "The more Palestinians are killed, the better for this country, and that's sad."
Morcos, who lives in Israel, is part of the 21% of the country's citizens who are Palestinian. But, she said, a crackdown on freedom of speech means "I'm afraid to say what I think."
"I don't want to be arrested, because we are in a country with no freedom of expression for Palestinians," she said.
Indeed,
In March, police arrested a soccer fan flying a Palestinian flag, Haaretz reported.
When asked about LGBTQ life in the Occupied Territories, Morcos said that the Western LGBTQ community needs to think outside its paradigms and preconceptions. (See related story.)
Morcos said that phrases such as "coming out of the closet," which came about in the U.S., don't accurately describe the experience of LGBTQ people worldwide. "This is a language that is basically agreed upon by a group of people. It doesn't fit everybody but it's the language used in your country," she told the B.A.R.
"The LGBT movement and the revolution in the U.S. worked because it needed something like that," she said. "That doesn't mean it will work for everybody, and this is not the case everywhere in the world."
Morcos also wanted to thank those around the world who've protested the war and the occupation of Palestinian land.
This year has seen the most widespread campus unrest in the U.S. in five decades. Armed Conflict Location and Event Data Project reports there were 7,283 pro-Palestinian protests globally in just the first six weeks of the conflict.
"I salute student protesters all over the world and I think student movements have always been strongest around the world," she said. "I really hope students will also continue to put this against Israel, and that the rest of the LGBT community in the U.S. will join them."
Aram Ronaldo of the Queer Palestinian Empowerment Network is a queer Palestinian American born in the U.S. who splits time between the Bay Area and New York City. Ronaldo has been involved in pro-Palestinian protests for some time, and said the images of suffering out of Gaza and the increased public visibility of support for Palestinian independence represents a study in contrasts.
"I've been involved since I was a kid, but this, what, six months have been crazy," Ronaldo said. "A giant wave of young people — Gen Z, Zoomers, students — demanding divestment from Israel has changed so much."
(In addition to a permanent ceasefire in the conflict, protesters want universities and other entities to divest from Israel, which receives billions of dollars in aid from the U.S. government.)
Ronaldo said social media might be to thank for the visibility.
"I don't know if social media amplified things, but a group of 300 people five to six years ago has now become 1,000 and spread over long distances," Ronaldo said. "The sheer change of numbers, interest, retweets, has grown so much, but at the cost of a genocidal death toll."
Ronaldo said one example of this was a rousing "Free Palestine!" chant at the drag show "Reparations" at the Oasis nightclub in San Francisco's South of Market neighborhood.
"The all-Black cast, including some 'RuPaul' competitors, at the very beginning they were saying 'Welcome, here's our goals' and at the same time 'Free, free Palestine! Queer, queer Palestine! We're all on the same page, right?'" Ronaldo recalled. "We weren't expecting it to be so open."
Ronaldo's father was born in Iraq, and his father's family was originally from Palestine. Due to war and expulsion, there are six million Palestinian refugees worldwide, NPR reported.
Still, Ronaldo has family in the West Bank and Israel, saying that "it's very difficult to navigate every day and process every day with the news, information and updates from family ... but we do what we can." Visiting has become more difficult, Ronaldo said, as entrances to the West Bank are controlled by Israel.
Ronaldo had a similar sentiment as Morcos about LGBTQ identity and Western perceptions. When asked about assertions LGBTQ people shouldn't support Palestinian causes or independence, Ronaldo said, "I think someone who says that has never met a lot of us queer Muslims or been to a country in the Middle East where queer people live and are just used to the San Francisco Pride parade, with everything out of the closet.
"So many of us live without wearing rainbows all the time or being open to everyone we know. That doesn't mean we should be killed in our communities," Ronaldo added. "Some people say there's no such thing as a queer Muslim, a queer Christian, or a queer Jewish person, but we know better."
'Not just a state, but a nation'
Alkhatib, while opposing the war, said that some narratives in the protest movement aren't helpful.
"Intifada and war are not glorious things people chant on the streets of Western capitals," he said. (Intifada, Arabic for uprising or to "be shaken," is used to refer to two uprisings against Israel.) "This is deadly business. My hearing loss happened during the Second Intifada. Israelis think of Intifada as suicide bombings and it enabled the rise of the right-wing that doesn't want peace and a two-state solution."
He said he wants more than a Palestinian state.
"Not just a state, but a nation. I want to build a nation," he said. "The next war is one of development, evolution, creativity and prosperity to show the world the Palestinian people's immense talent at creating. The Palestinian people are one of the most successful diaspora groups [and] ... helped build large segments of Arab society — teachers, doctors, my dad included. I want us to move the Palestinian narrative of resistance. Resistance is not just armed resistance. Resistance is perseverance. Rejecting hate is resistance. Rejecting violence is a form of resistance."
Alkhatib came to the U.S. in 2005 initially as part of a high school cultural exchange program. He said he wasn't allowed back into Gaza when he tried to return, and subsequently applied for political asylum in the U.S.
When asked how his surviving family is doing, he said, "They are doing like shit."
"They are struggling; they are still alive," Alkhatib said. "My brother has been displaced a bajillion times. He works for a large medical NGO [nongovernmental organization]. I have two surviving uncles and two surviving aunts and they've been displaced; they've been wounded. I have cousins — one is paraplegic, one is badly wounded. From the airstrikes we've experienced there's been a fuck ton of family members, extended family members, who've been wounded and displaced."
Alkhatib said that "the killing of my family members is a war crime and I want accountability."
When asked what accountability looks like, Alkhatib said that "accountability for Hamas and Israel is acknowledging there's been unnecessary killing, death and destruction."
"This has gone beyond going after Hamas, which I understand," he said. "It's intertwined with the population, which makes it hard. Still, destroying every fucking hospital and university and saying 'there's Hamas everywhere' as an excuse for mass, wide-scale destruction for Gaza's infrastructure and people — that's fucking wrong."
Alkhatib continued that "this to me wreaks of a war of revenge."
"I want a detailed investigation of the systematic dehumanization of Palestinians, the deployment of overwhelming firepower, the use of intense munitions, the justifications for blocking people from moving, and restricting access to aid," he said.
Alkhatib said that he hopes there will be a Palestinian nation alongside Israel with "contiguous sovereignty and control" and without "Iran and nonstate actors pushing regional aspirations."
"I want an end to the war in Gaza, the release of hostages and a deal," he said. "In the short term, we need an international peacekeeping force with a limited mandate to separate the Israelis and Palestinians and control the borders in Gaza and potentially in the West Bank down the road to protect against settler violence."
As for opinion polls showing continued support for Hamas among Palestinians, Alkhatib said, "Don't fucking for a second believe this trash."
"Wartime surveys in an undemocratic society," he scoffed. "Could you imagine being in Gaza and someone asks you what you think about Hamas or Israel for a survey? They're going to tell you what you want to hear. Amongst themselves, people despise the group [Hamas] and deeply hate it."
Queering the map
Lucas LaRochelle, a queer, nonbinary and trans digital designer and artist, started the Queering the Map platform in 2017 to collect recollections from anonymous queer people worldwide.
LaRochelle said that following October 7, posts began to circulate rapidly showing "the numerous stories that spoke to the experience and the existence of queer and trans people in Palestine."
Submissions from Gaza paint a picture of people living in the war zone.
One user dropped a pin and wrote "a place where I kissed my first crash [sic]."
"Being gay in Gaza is hard but somehow it was fun," the writer continued. "I made out with a lot of boys in my neighborhood. I thought everyone is gay to some level."
Anyone can post, but the posts are "moderated by a global network who screen the posts for breaches of anonymity," LaRochelle said.
LaRochelle said that the stories function "differently in terms of what they reveal."
"There are stories of love and connection," LaRochelle said. "There are stories of desire and heartbreak, and there are stories of violence at the hands of the ongoing Israeli occupation and genocide, so rather than there being one story that can represent them all, I think what is important about the project is that it holds many stories that speak to myriad angles of experience."
The stories express the human toll of the conflict.
"The place where you died, even though we were only pen pals," one person wrote next to a pin they dropped on the map. "I love you to my core, 5 years of best friendship. Ahmad died of the airstrike, you died of heartbreak. Khalid, I love you, I loved the way you came out to me, how I came out to you, how you introduced Ahmad as your boyfriend, I wanted to share your hurts with me, but we're seas apart, I'll free Palestine just for your eyes. I hope you rest well in heaven, kiss Ahmad all you want, and be very happy, in this life or another I'll follow you, and we can unite, I love you Icarus and beyond."
Another wrote that they didn't know "how long I will live so I just want this to be my memory here before I die."
"I am not going to leave my home, come what may," they wrote. "My biggest regret is not kissing this one guy. He died two days back. We had told how much we like each other and I was too shy to kiss last time. He died in the bombing. I think a big part of me died too. And soon I will be dead. To younus, i will kiss you in heaven."
[Editor's note: This is the second of three articles stemming from reporter John Ferrannini's recent trip to Israel.]
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