Marriage just wasn't a big deal to Therese Stewart when she was growing up in the Castro. Already having crushes on girls, she never fantasized about having a big wedding.
As an adult she married two women, the first she later separated from, in private ceremonies attended by her Catholic family. Yet having gone into law, Stewart did not view those unsanctioned marriages in the same light as the legally recognized weddings of her relatives and straight friends.
"For most gay people, I am of that generation that believed marriage was out of reach. It wasn't in the realm of the possible," said the 54-year-old Stewart.
Her thoughts began to change when, in 2002, she heard another gay attorney discuss how marriage equality was a realistic goal. Then, in 2004, as the chief deputy city attorney for San Francisco, Stewart found herself thrust into the forefront of the fight for same-sex marriage.
The mayor at the time, Gavin Newsom, ignored California laws and ordered city officials to marry LGBT couples. At the instruction of her boss, City Attorney Dennis Herrera, Stewart first led the legal defense of the mayor's actions (she lost that case) and soon turned her attention to crafting the successful lawsuit that struck down California's anti-gay marriage statutes in May 2008 (voters would overturn the court decision only months later).
Working on that first lawsuit seven years ago was the first time, Stewart recalled recently, that she began to think "wow, in my lifetime, this is possible."
Wanting to remain focused, she pushed aside any personal thoughts and zeroed in on building her case and polishing her arguments before the state courts.
"When we first started I really tried to keep my own feelings at bay about it," said Stewart, who is one of the community grand marshals in Sunday's Pride Parade. "I did so for two reasons. A, thinking I could, and B, as a lawyer you don't want to be your own client. If you get caught up in the emotion of something, it could be hard to keep your distance and evaluate the arguments to see which one is the best."
For that reason, she and her wife, attorney Carole Scagnetti, agreed that the two women would not marry while the lawsuit was ongoing.
"Carole said, 'We can get married when you win the case,'" recalled Stewart.
That day came August 29, 2008. As news broke about her nuptials, Stewart said she hadn't allowed her emotions to surface until she fielded a phone call from a local reporter.
"When he asked me about being one of several people who had worked on the case now getting married, I burst into tears. It was totally unexpected," she said. "I said something along the lines that it felt really good to finally be a first-class citizen and not to be inferior or second best. The depth of the feeling about it was much bigger than I thought."
It was at that moment, Stewart said, that she realized, "Wow, I really do care about this for myself."
Sparking an interest
Stewart has worked on all four marriage cases the city attorney's office has litigated before the state and federal courts. In addition to reshaping her thoughts about marriage itself, the experience has also sparked an interest in her running for public office.
Herrera is running to be the city's next mayor. Should he win come November, his position would become available in 2012, allowing Stewart a chance to become San Francisco's first out elected city attorney. She could find herself in the position of the incumbent if Herrera appoints her to fill the vacancy until an election is held.
"I have thought about it," said Stewart. "It is really, I am keeping my mind open and my eyes open. But my focus right now is on sort of making sure the office, the job is done and helping Dennis's campaign because I really believe he will make the best mayor. But those are what ifs and you obviously don't know what will happen."
Talk of her running has only increased since Stewart and Scagnetti left Novato to move back into San Francisco.
"I grew up here and Carole and I talked for a long time about moving back. Certainly, it gives me more options than if I had stayed in Marin," said Stewart.
As her notoriety continues to grow due to the marriage cases, speculation continues to build about what her political plans may hold. People often ask her about the possibility of her succeeding Herrera, acknowledged Stewart.
"Being thrust into the public means a lot of people have asked me about it. I think in part because I am more widely known, both by my colleagues and by people outside the office," she said. "In that sense, when more than a handful of people start asking you the question, it starts making you think about it in a way perhaps you wouldn't have been so serious before."