Running is a big part of life for 28-year-old Casey Budesilich, who will be participating in both the upcoming Gay Games and Outgames.
As much as ever now for the Berkeley resident, who had his first date with his partner during a trip where the two got caught in a storm while running through one of the most picturesque areas of the Pacific Northwest.
"Our first date was a running date in the Columbia Gorge," he said. "What started out as an easy trail run turned into a race for life, as the sky above split open with thunder and lightning all around us, followed by a large hail downpour. When we got back to my truck, the fact that we were both just laughing so hard ignited a sense in me that this person was worth pursuing."
Budesilich said he had first met his partner, Steve Murphy, five years ago at a mutual friend's birthday party in Portland, Oregon.
"Later that night I went up to him and told him I thought he was adorable, and asked him on a date. He responded by telling me he was leaving in three months for grad school at Berkeley. I responded that it was only one date, not a proposal, and convinced him to go along," he said.
As fate would have it, the two met up again three months later.
"I was moving down to San Francisco, while he was attending grad school for urban planning. Funny thing was that we had both been applying to the same program, but I had decided to wait a year to apply and withdrew my application a month before we had met."
The couple was married in Portland last September "in front of all our families and friends."
"We even invited Karen Minnis to our wedding, the ultra-conservative right-wing speaker of the House in Oregon who's currently trying to block even civil unions.
"I think she may have misplaced her invitation," he said, jokingly.
Budesilich and Murphy will be making the trip together to both the Outgames and Gay Games this summer.
Budesilich will be competing in the triathlon, 5K, and 10K at the Gay Games, and, along with Murphy, in the triathlon at the Outgames. It will be Murphy's first shot at the triathlon, which Budesilich said he is excited about.
For Gay Games, Murphy will make the trip but will be playing basketball with the Long Beach Rebels (the team won a silver medal in Sydney).
Being active in sports and competition has been an uphill battle for Budesilich since he was a youth.
"I played sports growing up, but was never very good and like many gay kids in high school, really didn't fit in with my teammates," he said. "I was also a heavy kid growing up, and got teased a lot throughout fourth and eighth grades. Trail running became a solace for me around eighth grade, allowing me to focus on myself and dream of the day when I'd be out of the small town."
Budesilich grew up in Coquille, Oregon, a conservative town with a population of about 3,000.
But the will to persevere had its rewards and today running and competition continues to be a big part of Budesilich's life.
"Triathlon is my primary sport these days. The first triathlon I ever competed in was at the Gay Games in Sydney," he said. "It meant a lot to me to have my first race be in an environment where I knew I would be supported, and it truly didn't matter about your ability, just the fact that you were participating."
"There were professional triathletes next to people like me, but the great thing was that everyone was so supportive and kind. Having done a few triathlons since then, I can tell you that people are not generally so supportive or friendly in the sport as they are at the games."
Training for the upcoming games has been a consistent part of Budesilich's life over the past months.
"I have been training for about a year now, balancing between running, swimming, strength training, and riding," he said. "I mostly train on my own, which provides a nice period of reflection for life in general, but can be difficult to push yourself as hard as possible.
"The personal rewards for me are the ability to see improvements over time, and just have the flexibility in deciding what I want to do that day. For example, I never really learned to swim growing up, so I took a few lessons during the summer before the last Games."
Budesilich had trouble during that first swimming event. "I basically swam off course in the worst way possible," he said.
The event included guides in kayaks to assist swimmers. "One of the women ended up guiding me down the course to stay on track. She had to keep yelling at me to straighten out, but was great about it, and we ended up laughing at my performance at the end."
"I felt such a sense of accomplishment from finishing that first race, having trained so hard for the year prior. I stayed around for a while after crossing the finish line, talking to other people, including a great group of lesbians from Canada," he added.
"It was so hot that day, that after about an hour I left to head back into Sydney – we were about 60 kilometers east. It turned out that I won a silver medal for my age group, which came as a complete shock to me – especially after my swim."
"I unfortunately missed the medal ceremony, and only found out when one of the women I had met e-mailed me the next day."
Budesilich said that being openly gay is an integral part of his endeavors as an athlete.
"It is important for me to be known as a gay athlete," he said. "I have a solid, beefy build, and I surprise people when they hear that I am a runner or a triathlete.
"I think it is important for all gay people to be up front that we are often as diverse as the straight community. It is still interesting to me that so many people are surprised that gay people can be talented athletes," he said.
"My partner, Steve, plays in tournaments in a national gay league with his team. They experience it even more than I do, since sports like basketball and football are often viewed as so masculine."
"I decided to participate in the Gay Games and the Outgames, because it is really great to see so many gay athletes, regardless of ability, to pursue something they love.
"Of course, seeing hot bodies doesn't hurt either, but the experience of meeting so many interesting people from all over the world is the most enjoyable aspect of the games.
"For example, the Taiwanese girls basketball team was detained on the way to the last Gay Games once they said where they were going. The authorities called each of their parents and outed them. The women came anyway, and had a memorable experience. The outpouring of love and support for them over the course of the week must have been so encouraging to them in realizing that there are other points of view in the world. That is the type of experience that makes me want to go to the Games," he said.
Budesilich is employed as a strategic growth manager at the Breakthrough Collaborative, a national education nonprofit in 27 communities throughout the country. The organization launches low-income students on the road to college and challenges young people to pursue careers in education.
He said that during the Pride weekend he would be busy working in a booth for Magnet, the gay men's health clinic, where he has volunteered for the past three years.