Episcopal trailblazer, LGBTQ ally Rev. Robert Cromey dies

  • by John Ferrannini, Assistant Editor
  • Wednesday January 22, 2025
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The Reverend Robert Cromey. Photo: Rick Gerharter
The Reverend Robert Cromey. Photo: Rick Gerharter

The Reverend Robert Warren Cromey, who helped create the early pro-LGBTQ group the Council on Religion and the Homosexual and performed early same-sex marriages, died January 14. He was 93.

Reverend Cromey's wife, Ann, told the Bay Area Reporter that he'd died in his sleep in an assisted living facility after having suffered a fall in early December.

"He was an Episcopal clergyman who tried to follow Jesus by welcoming all people," Ann Cromey told the B.A.R. in a phone interview. "He did go to Selma, Alabama when Martin Luther King Jr. asked clergy to come to march. In San Francisco, he became convinced Christ was accepting of all people and he started speaking out in 1963 about the humanity of gay people, and he did it his whole career. Robert was highly publicized."

Reverend Cromey was born in 1931 in Brooklyn, New York. A disciple of the heterodox Bishop of California James Pike, Reverend Cromey served as his secretary, and though he was straight, he was an early advocate for LGBTQ equality both inside and outside the Episcopal Church. In that endeavor, Reverend Cromey co-founded the Council on Religion and the Homosexual, an early homophile group that on New Year's Day 1965 threw a fundraising gala in the Tenderloin that was raided by police due to its pro-gay message.

The Reverend Jim Mitulski, a gay man who's now pastor of Congregational Church of the Peninsula in Belmont, told the B.A.R. that Reverend Cromey demonstrated allyship by being arrested.

"They," Mitulski said, referring to a number of straight pro-gay clergy in those days, "stood out and stood with us."

Mitulski, who pastored the old Metropolitan Community Church in the Castro in the 1980s and 1990s, said since the clergy weren't LGBTQ, they probably didn't expect to be arrested, but nevertheless the incident brought attention to police mistreatment of LGBTQ people, and led to the end of routine San Francisco Police Department raids of gay and lesbian bars in the city.

"He was unwavering in his commitment to gay causes," Mitulski told the B.A.R. "He was far more outspoken than many gay clergy were willing to be. He was very influential for me and other clergy in San Francisco. The Episcopal Church treated him at the time very badly. Now, they're very pro-gay, but that's because of what Robert did."

Ann Cromey said that her husband "was threatened with presentation — a kind of Episcopal court — because he performed a marriage of two men. The threat came, and the bishop said, 'don't get any publicity,' but Robert was not in control of the publicity so there was publicity anyway, but they did not present him. What Robert said to the bishop was, 'I'll see you in court with my lawyer,' but that never came to pass."

Reverend Cromey was the longtime pastor of Trinity Episcopal Church, at 1620 Gough Street on Cathedral Hill, and helped found St. Aidan's Episcopal Church, at 101 Gold Mine Drive in Diamond Heights.

Mitulski said Trinity was a thriving parish when Reverend Cromey was there, and that the late priest enjoyed the company of LGBTQ people, whom, he said, "took him under their wing" and "helped him express himself in ways not part of his past experience," for example, by teaching Reverend Cromey about incense and vestments.

Ann Cromey said that Project Open Hand was founded in Trinity's kitchen during the AIDS epidemic, and that Reverend Cromey presided over the funerals of 72 people who died of AIDS complications.

Michael Reardon, a gay friend of Reverend Cromey's, met him at St. John the Evangelist in the Mission district, where the retired priest became a parishioner after leaving Trinity.

"Before I met him in person — I met him on Maui one time with his wife Ann — I was in awe of him because I had known about his activism and his work in all parts of the city," Reardon said. "He was an outspoken person with a great sense of humor, so I was in awe of his celebrity as I thought of him then, but he became a very, very close friend of mine."

Reverend Cromey fell December 3, Ann Cromey said, and went to Sutter hospital on Van Ness Avenue. He then went to a Sutter in the Mission district and then to Central Gardens Post Acute before insurance stopped paying for his stay, at which point the couple paid $10,400 for a month in an assisted living facility. Ann Cromey said she didn't think he was seen by a physician at either of the Sutter hospitals, though he was discharged by one before his time at Central Gardens.

She had their apartment modified so he could return home, but he died in his sleep early January 14.

"He did speak with one nurse practitioner at Central Gardens — as far as I know that's the only medical practitioner he was seen by," she said.

Asked both about this particular case and about whether there is a situation in which a patient who suffered a fall might not see a doctor after presenting themselves at the emergency room, a Sutter Health spokesperson stated to the B.A.R. on January 22 that "Our hearts are with the family during this incredibly hard time. Out of respect for the family and patient privacy laws, we cannot comment on any patient case. It's important to share that quality and compassionate patient care is the core of our approach. Our teams work together with patients and their loved ones to provide appropriate care and keep everyone involved well-informed throughout their experience."

Reverend cromey's wife summed up his legacy.

"He was very brave," Ann Cromey added. "People really did think he was crazy. Gay people were so unacceptable in those days. I think he was highly principled and not afraid of opposition."

Updated, 1/22/25: This article has been updated with a statement from Sutter Health.

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