Friends and family are remembering Catherine Ficcardi, a lesbian longtime bartender at the White Horse LGBTQ bar in Oakland who died December 22. Known widely as "Captain," Ms. Ficcardi was 57.
Sarah Hanson, Ms. Ficcardi's partner of about 15 years, told the Bay Area Reporter and friends on Facebook that Ms. Ficcardi had recently been diagnosed with an aggressive form of leukemia after experiencing decreased energy.
Hanson said that Ms. Ficcardi died within about a week of her diagnosis.
"It was very fast," she said.
Hanson, a psychologist, said that Ms. Ficcardi had a love of learning despite not attending college.
"She was always curious," Hanson said in a phone interview. "She never had an education beyond high school but was very much a natural learner. She was smart as a whip."
Ms. Ficcardi, who lived with Hanson in Oakland, loved her job at the White Horse, where she was usually the bartender who opened up in the afternoons, recalled Leslie Ewing, a lesbian who formerly served as the executive director of the Pacific Center for Human Growth, an LGBTQ community center and mental health clinic in Berkeley that until recently was located near the White Horse, which is at 6551 Telegraph Avenue. (The Pacific Center is now at 2130 Center Street in downtown Berkeley.)
"I met and knew Catherine through my work at the Pacific Center," Ewing said in a phone interview, noting the bar held benefits for the center or allowed its space to be used for fundraisers. "As a result, we forged a friendship."
The White Horse bills itself as the oldest operating gay bar in the country and is formally known as the White Horse Inn. It opened in 1933, its Facebook page stated.
The White Horse was closed December 23 in memory of Ms. Ficcardi; its Instagram post showed a broken heart emoji. On December 24, the bar posted, "We are devastated over the loss of our beloved Captain. Captain's warmth, humor, and unwavering love for this community made The White Horse feel like home, and tonight, we'll raise a glass in her honor."
Hanson recalled that Ms. Ficcardi was named best bartender in the B.A.R.'s Best of the Bay readers' poll in 2019. As reporter Jim Gladstone wrote, "A complete turnover of winners from last year means a great excuse for bar-hopping, including a hop all the way across the bay to the oldest gay bar in the country, where Captain Catherine Ficcardi has steered the ship to a stunning out-of-SF victory."
But as Ewing pointed out, the White Horse is more than just an LGBTQ watering hole in Oakland. "It's a neighborhood bar," she said, and Ms. Ficcardi made patrons feel at home no matter who they were.
"What struck me over the years was that she was a community leader — everyone was welcome," said Ewing.
Hanson also stressed Ms. Ficcardi's love of community, which she said Ms. Ficcardi nurtured.
"She made people feel special and feel connected to her," Hanson said.
Ewing said that she and Ms. Ficcardi used to commiserate that the work done by the Pacific Center and Ms. Ficcardi's work with people at the bar was in some ways similar.
Christine Young is Ms. Ficcardi's step/chosen daughter. Young's mom and Ms. Ficcardi used to be partners. After they split, Young remained close to Ms. Ficcardi.
"We lived in the same household during part of my teenage years," Young, 36, said in a phone interview. "We became much closer when I was an adult.
"She was loud, boisterous, an outrageous Italian," Young said. "She was supportive throughout my adult life and very well loved."
Young, who now lives in Portland, Oregon, said Ms. Ficcardi's face was one that a lot of patrons of the White Horse saw when they went there.
And, while Young is a straight ally, she said she's long considered herself part of the LGBTQ community and went to the White Horse when she lived in the area.
"I had that community as well," she said.
Early life, family
Ms. Ficcardi was born February 27, 1967. She grew up on Chicago's North Side, said her younger brother, Johnny Ficcardi, and Jennifer Morgan, Ms. Ficcardi's best friend since high school. Ms. Ficcardi and Morgan, who lived about six blocks apart, met at Alvernia in Chicago, which was a Catholic all-girls school, Morgan said.
"She was always upbeat," Morgan recalled, adding that she was also musical and liked to entertain.
Hanson said that Ms. Ficcardi played the piano "beautifully" and liked to sing.
Morgan, a straight ally who now lives in Wisconsin, said she and Ms. Ficcardi stayed in touch over the years, "when she worked at Sears, or at a gay bar in Chicago" and then when Ms. Ficcardi moved to the Bay Area.
Johnny Ficcardi, a straight ally, said in a phone interview that while the siblings fought as kids that changed when they got older.
"We grew to respect one another," he said. "I grew to respect her as a person. She was very warm — very stern, but very warm."
He added that he thought Ms. Ficcardi's community in Oakland "made her a better person."
"The White Horse brought out the best in her," he said, adding that he thanked her friends and community members there.
Ms. Ficcardi came out at about 19, her brother said, and he was fine with it, as were her parents, though her mother took a little longer to accept it.
"We loved her," Johnny Ficcardi said.
Jennifer Ficcardi, Ms. Ficcardi's cousin, said that she'll remember her sense of humor.
"The first thing that comes to mind is she was funny, sometimes inappropriately funny, which, in my opinion, made it funnier," Jennifer Ficcardi said in a phone interview.
Jennifer Ficcardi, a straight ally, said that she felt Ms. Ficcardi "was a big part of the gay and lesbian community, and she was happy to be part of it. It was part of who she was."
Stacy Flemm, another of Ms. Ficcardi's cousins, said that she "should have been an entertainer."
"It was just her," Flemm, a straight ally, said in a phone interview.
Flemm, who lives in Indiana, also said that Ms. Ficcardi often put others ahead of herself. Flemm's biggest regret, she said, was that she, her twin sister Kelly Hoefgen, and Jennifer Ficcardi didn't make it out to the White Horse to see Ms. Ficcardi in her element.
Cousin Jeff Ficcardi, a straight ally who lives in Arizona, said that Ms. Ficcardi "was very outgoing, kind of the life of the party. She was always fun to be around."
Kelly Hoefgen, a cousin who lives in Indiana, said Ms. Ficcadri "had a heart of gold."
"She loved everybody," Hoefgen, a straight ally, said.
Ms. Ficcardi was predeceased by her mother, Donna, and her father, Terry, and his wife Kathleen. In addition to Hanson, Young, Flemm, Hoefgen, Jeff Ficcardi, Johnny Ficcardi, and Jennifer Ficcardi, Ms. Ficcardi is survived by cousin Keith Ficcardi. Hanson said that there will be a celebration of Ms. Ficcardi's life on or close to her birthday, with details to follow.
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