There are some truly unusual and outlandish beliefs about how a transgender person transitions, with the most glaring example being former President and current 2024 Republican candidate Donald Trump's recent claims that children are going off to school, somehow managing a surgical transition during the day, and then coming home.
This claim is well outside the realm of reality and possibility, of course, but like anything that comes out of his mouth, it is likely to be believed by a number of his adherents. I personally suspect that the former president mashed up several ideas and spat that out without much time spent on logic. Just more pablum to spew at his supporters.
The basis of this, though, seems tied into fears of a lack of parental control over trans kids at school. Some trans youth do indeed test the waters outside of the home, opting to use a new name and identity on campus, away from parents who most likely would not approve of their own child's transition goals.
I suspect that disapproval is, quite frankly, why their kids may decide to hide their trans selves at home, but I digress. If you knew your parents were going to disown you — at best — would you want to risk coming out to them first, or would you choose to seek out other people in your life who you can confide in? I know which option I'd take.
It is important to separate the idea of a social transition from a surgical one, which is deeply conflated in Trump's comments. The latter may simply be changing outward appearances with a different outfit, a fresh set of pronouns, and a name of their own choosing. Unlike Trump's claims, it's certainly not going to include surgery.
For the uninitiated, while some things can be done on an outpatient basis, such as an orchiectomy (removing both testicles), transition-related surgeries are not necessarily simple affairs. Many require several days in a hospital, as well as weeks of aftercare. I feel like I don't need to even bring up the obvious fact that a school nurse is not a surgeon and is not equipped with an operating room tucked away somewhere in the administration building on campus.
Yet, many do believe transition is a quick or easy process — so much so that they assume people will go from one gender to another via some sort of whip pan camera trickery. This is where the idea comes from that a transgender person might transition to, oh, sneak into women's rooms for nefarious purposes, or to excel at women's sports.
Additionally, some have claimed that the greater number of trans youth today is due to a "rapid onset" social contagion — versus better information being available — causing people to decide they are transgender or nonbinary with alarming speed, and not considering what that even means for themselves.
This is not the reality of being transgender.
I'll illustrate this with my own experiences. They're not universal, mind you, as we all have different paths in this world, but I think they'll be useful for illustrative purposes.
I first realized something didn't add up when I was 3 years old, and first learned that transition was possible when I was 8. Again, this is not the same as every other transgender person, and there are countless reasons one might learn they are transgender or nonbinary at other ages — but it's not uncommon for us to know in childhood like I did.
I also knew my parents would not approve of this, and hid it for many years. Heck, for much of my teen years, I hid my trans nature so deeply that I could almost fool myself into believing I wasn't.
That is also not an unusual experience. We do spend a lot of time trying to understand this part of ourselves, and an even larger number of our days trying to figure out a way to "cure" ourselves of the same. We may seek out pursuits that are strongly tied to our birth gender, assuming we simply need to try harder to fit into that gender.
At any rate, I repressed my feelings as best as I could for years, and only started to come out at around age 25.
Yes, a lot of people were pretty surprised I had made such a "rash" decision back then, but it wasn't a sudden choice for me.
We often spend years — even decades — trying to deny our trans natures. It's a dangerous world to be trans in, and getting worse by the day, so it should not surprise anyone that we might go deep into the closet and avoid sharing this — or try to suppress our feelings within ourselves in whatever way we can.
For most of us, however, we do eventually need to come out.
This, I should note, is why people think it is rapid. If we went through great pains to hide our trans selves, and a non-trans friend or family member opted to ignore any possible "tells" along the way — as my own family did — then that moment of coming out will seem to come out of nowhere, and one might assume such a decision was made hastily.
What we're not doing is rushing off to school and letting someone else perform surgery on us between fourth and fifth period. The notion is ludicrous — but consider the source of that.
It's not like Trump has ever been a close friend of the truth, no matter what he named his social media app.
Gwen Smith has lived more years in her correct gender than in the one she was assigned at birth. You can find her at www.gwensmith.com
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