The long-awaited Dakota Johnson lesbian rom-com, "Am I OK?" finally premiered on Max two years after its festival premiere.
The cute film about coming out later in life is directed by the sapphic married couple Stephanie Allynne and Tig Notaro, the latter of whom makes a spectacular cameo in a role only she could have played as a hammock retreat instructor, and is led by a mostly female and queer-friendly crew. St. Vincent (credited as Anne Erin Clark) even contributes to the film's music.
"Am I OK?" is the sort of warm, feel-good LGBTQ movie dependent on its adhesion to the simplest depictions of queerness, especially coming out of the closet, and that's both one of its great banes and boons.
Johnson, in addition to helping to produce through her company TeaTime Pictures, plays Lucy, a 32-year-old Angeleno woman just now realizing that she likes women more than she likes men. It may be another queer film about coming out, but at least this one feels authentic and delivers a more infrequently told coming out story than the usual late teens or early 20s awakening.
Her best friend, the possibly bi-curious Jane (Sonoya Mizuno), just announced a work promotion that will move her to London; their relationship takes a hit in the aftermath. As she openly and honestly navigates queer sexuality for the first time in her life, she does so with a timid innocence and an awkward, straight-faced quirky humor that's reminiscent of Notaro's stand-up personality and her role as Reno in "Star Trek: Discovery."
Funny but awkward
At its best, the combination of Johnson's delivery with Lauren Pomerantz's writing makes for hilarious one-liners and social interactions so intensely awkward that her dry deliveries turn into something resembling a skit. At its worst, we get lines like "Ice cream is different than vagina... otherwise it would be called vag-ice cream."
The lesbian awakening emerges from "Am I gay?" internet quizzes and a failed friendship with a male friend that ends when he moves in to kiss her and she "catapulted off the bed," using his phrasing. A new crush at work also helps her figure things out. Jane leaving for London creates a new urgency for Lucy to figure life out and to pursue happiness before her source of stability leaves. She's dependent on her friend so much that it grows burdensome even for the viewer, but it works without being dangerously toxic (for the most part) because Jane is a naturally authoritative person.
The filmmakers somewhat ignorantly shoot for the aesthetic of the working class with the privilege of the wealthy and that makes for a strange combination. Lucy works an entry-level desk job at a massage parlor, though she somehow has the money for an apartment bigger than a studio, and can afford to drink every night without first checking the bank app on her phone.
The new girl at work, an excessively flirty masseuse named Brittany (Kiersey Clemons), can't keep her hands off Lucy (literally) and the two end up sharing each other's first same-sex kisses. Nothing ever goes well for Lucy, though. After mustering the courage to be intimate with a woman, Brittany bounces back to Portland for her ex-boyfriend and Lucy is right back to square-zero. Only this time she is without the support of her life-long friend Jane.
Sex and shortcomings
In the film's most detailed and meaningful representation of a lesbian coming-out experience, after sex, the next day at work Brittany mentions that she's glad they had that fun "experience." Brittany shows no willingness or interest in being with a woman and only wants to try a new kind of thrilling intimacy.
There's nothing wrong with sexual experimentation, of course. There may even be a convincing argument that the screenplay minimizes the possibility of Brittany's bisexuality by leaning into the dehumanizing language of "experience," as if sleeping with a woman is a fun thing to check off one's errand list rather than a full sexual orientation.
The possible bi-erasure may be the film's biggest shortcoming. In addition to the episode with Brittany, there's also a scene where Jane, a woman with one prior same-sex kiss behind her, makes out with another woman at the local lesbian club where she takes Lucy for encouragement. She hopes her boyfriend Danny (Jermaine Fowler) will propose soon and speaks of both of her queer kisses as things she did because the other person asked her and not because she desired to kiss women.
The first time, a story she recollects over drinks, was even on a dare. Of course, it goes without saying that a character doing or saying something does not amount to an easily spelled-out morality tale. That said, the world of "Am I OK?" seems defined by two sexualities: heterosexual and gay/lesbian. Bisexuality, to the degree it can be sniffed out, poses a threat to the quest of lesbian self-actualization.
The platonic relationship between Lucy and Jane is where "Am I OK?" is at its best. Johnson and Mizuno find a rhythm to their dialogue that feels both endearing and authentic, and their early scenes have that special comedic gold that Johnson's always been capable of.
Abrupt, intelligent
There's no hint of sexual tension or desire between the two women, other than one very quick comment where Lucy suggests it wasn't fun seeing Jane make out with a stranger, though that could be for other reasons too. They bicker like a married couple, but the repair of their friendship at the end feels inevitable. Rather than only showing this through interpersonal details and relationship depth, Notaro and Allynne cleverly show this through their interactions with others. Nobody else understands either of them the way they understand and know each other.
The film concludes in a mix of abruption and intelligence. Lucy and Jane repair their relational abrasions. The two almost trade positions from before. Jane's the one in need of emotional support and the newly minted lesbian Lucy finally figured life out.
"Am I OK?" kind of fizzles out without a bang. There is no coupling between the leads (and perhaps that's for the better), nor even a clear sense for Lucy's next steps. The filmmakers want us to believe her life makes sense now, and that the path to happiness sits right before her. But she still has more questions to face than answers prepared. In real life, sexual actualization is important but not ultimate and Lucy, one way or another, will learn that the hard way.
www.max.com
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