The fact that a butt plug was dislodged from Christeene's crevice and flung into the audience, grazing my jacket's sleeve before finding its way to the floor, tells me that Truck is rolling full-steam ahead towards the finish line in raunchy style.
San Francisco will simply have to survive without the bar that lasted eight years in the no-man's land far from the Castro; tucked between Folsom Street's leather corridor and the heavy foot traffic of the Mission District. But what venues remain for this kind of thing?
Truck isn't considered an institution like the Lexington Club and arguably didn't reach the iconic status of Esta Noche, both of which preceded the masculine-themed watering hole by closing recently). But in a relatively short amount of time, Truck filled a niche with its crazy parties, theme nights and whimsical d�cor, complete with hubcap-style ceiling fans and side-view mirrors in the men's room.
"Of course, before we opened, we thought we would take over the country, but eight years has been a wild ride and hopefully others will pick up the torch," owner Paul Ringhofer-Miller reflects.
Facing a similar fate as a slew of local gay bars before it, Truck has been sold, but will reopen under three new owners (who all happen to all be female), as the Wooden Nickel. Whether or not the new space will continue to cater to gay clientele remains to be seen.
Ringhofer-Miller says due to the ABC (Alcoholic Beverage Control) license process, it's not clear exactly when the bar will close, but as of June 12 they had 60 days.
In the meantime, the Final Days of Truck is a series of events that gives patrons more than enough chances to say goodbye. I tried going to the Soul Stomp, an event featuring the Hard French DJs, but the event was postponed until July, then cancelled. My photographer Dallis Willard and I sat as the only customers in the bar for over an hour on a Friday night.
Robert Driggs, who only recently started bartending at Truck to help his friends out, says it's a typical scene if there isn't an event going on. He says maybe he'll get the 1 a.m. rush of people wanting that one last drink before heading home.
The following weekend couldn't have been more different.
It's a little after 10 p.m. and DJ Jimmy Swear noticeably bumps up the volume as his mix treats the crowded house to Janet Jackson's "Miss You Much," Aaliyah's "More Than A Woman," TLC, and Outkast.
A group of men ask for Campari at the bar, which seems to have overshadowed Fernet as the spirit of the times. I'm patiently waiting along the bench that lines the wall for the performance to begin.
"We're on drag time," says Meg, a patron who comes to check out drag nights at Truck. She says she's heard of some illicit stories about this place.
The rumors are true, and not just at underwear events. On special nights, parties like Throb, Slut Shame, Daddy Saddle and LumberTwink got particularly sexy. A few gay porn videos have also immortalized the bar, including one with the not-subtle title Truck.
Truck also had some of the best bar food in town, and a series of creative costume parties beyond Halloween. A red carpet New Year's Eve event provided a light parody of Hollywood flair, and the variety of drag shows rivaled bigger nightclubs.
And who could forget Truck's 2007 Pride float, where the bar's motto, "More fun than playing in the dirt," was visualized by a flatbed full of underwear-clad men and women playing in kiddy pools full of mud.
Meanwhile, back to my night out, someone in purposely smeared makeup and a messy brunette wig, who refers to anyone in their path as "lady," poses for pictures with other clientele. She's not wearing much, but does have white fishnets, sock gloves, and what looks like matching bandages or gauze wrapped around her fit-tattoo-covered body. It's obvious she's borrowing her look as a disciple of Christeene, who finally takes the stage after Hoku Mama Swamp's opening set.
Eyes caked heavily in makeup fit for Twiggy, a full-figured Hoku is not afraid to go topless for the room. She gets the most laughs with a sleazy line from a nasty jam asking whoever to "Sop it up like a pig eats slop."
When all attention turns to Christeene, an Austin native with her Southern drawl still intact, it is the equivalent of watching a train wreck delightfully sparkle on stage in all her politically incorrect glory and opinionated commentary for and about the audience.
She refers to us as "faggots," complains that she can't get an abortion in Austin and goes into her song, "Fix My Dick" like a hip-hop, drag, Marilyn Manson-hybrid all rolled into one burping mess.
I'm genuinely startled when she snatches an iPhone 6 out of an audience member's hands from the front row and proceeds to place it down whatever kind of hosiery she's wearing for some blurry dick pics. The best part is when she's about to hand it back, but changes her mind and jokes that the phone needs to be charged. That's when the iPhone goes where the butt-plug once was. Gasps can be heard throughout the room. Sticking with her Southern charm, Christeene quips, "Lemme clean it for you," before giving it a spit shine and handing it back to the owner.
She kept referring to us as "real estate agents," and while her criticisms of San Francisco and its thriving tech industry were playful and in jest, they were also on point for a venue that has embraced the fringe behaviors of many people's inner freak (something many long-time residents say we need more of), but is now on the brink of closure and about to undergo a makeover for better or worse.
"So many factors create what I think is a somewhat bland period for nightlife right now," Ringhofer-Miller says. "I think people have come to expect other people to create the fun and provide a wild night out. I don't think they realize that what creates that environment is people, like them, going out and having a wild, fun time. We can create the space and give them permission, but they have to go for it."
The Final Days of Truck event info can be found on the bar's Facebook page. 1900 Folsom St. at 15th. 252-0306. www.facebook.com/pages/Truck/42186809524