Where in the Bay Area can you go that hasn't been taken over by hipsters, Instagramed to the world, listicled and thereafter ruined?
I went to a tiny local burrito shop for lunch. It's my occasional Friday treat. Usually I'm one of a few customers. But last week, it was packed with more than a dozen loudly yakking, self-absorbed, table-hogging, manspreading, 20something techies, like some sort of flash mob Movember trending hashtag horror show.
Yes, I know they were techies, men and women, because they all talked loudly with no volume control and an abundance of self-absorption, each with a persistently nasal pseudo-intonation of irony and a profound lack of diction that reduced their crowd-babble to a mild cacaphony.
Apparently one of the Twitterites nearby has "discovered" my favorite tiny burrito place of more than a decade, so now it's ruined, because it took much longer to get my lunch, and they were out of chicken, and, well, the Bro-hole invasion.
You've experienced this. Your favorite place is razed, replaced, Bro-vaded, ruined or completely gone.
So, what's left? Plenty of new, recently new and utterly ancient restaurants, bars (more listicles that you can find on your own), clubs and artisinal yogurt shoppes may entertain you.
Or not.
But don't give up the battle for fun. March on down to wherever you feel most comfortable to let down your guard, or as Robin Byrd used to say "Lie back; get cumf-tubble..."
New York elder exiles will get that. Younger SF techies won't. They don't get much, except too much money and a lot of time on their hands to wait an hour in line crowding up tiny burrito shops with their palpable, nauseating arrogance.
Yet we remain determined to recommend, for yet another week, a good time yet to be had by you. You'll have to dodge the Bro-hordes on your own.
Maybe there's an app for that.
Thursday, March 5
After Dark @ Exploratorium
Extended Cinemas, a movie-themed cocktail night for adults, with storytelling, projections and cinematic toys on display. $10-$15. 6pm-10pm. Pier 15 at Embarcadero. 528-4444. www.exploratorium.edu
Bulge @ Powerhouse
Grace Towers hosts the weekly gogo-tastic night of sexy dudes shakin' their bulges and getting wet in their undies for $100 prize (contest at midnight), and dance beats spun by DJ DAMnation. 10pm-2am. 1347 Folsom St. www.powerhousebar.com
Fuego @ The Watergarden, San Jose
Weekly event, with Latin music, half-off locker fees and Latin men, at the South Bay private men's bath house. $8-$39. Reg hours 24/7. 18+. 1010 The Alameda. (408) 275-1215. www.thewatergarden.com
Funny Fun @ Club 21, Oakland
LGBT comedy night hosted by Dan Mires. $10. 8pm. 2111 Franklin St. Oakland. (510) 268-9425. www.club21oakland.com
Game Night @ Brewcade
The arcade beer bar presents Ruhstaller Brewing and special beers. 6pm. 2200 Market St. www.brewcadesf.com
Gym Class @ Hi Tops
Enjoy cheap/free whiskey shots from jock-strapped hotties and sexy sports videos at the popular sports bar. 10pm-2am. 2247 Market St. 551-2500. www.HiTopsSF.com
Karaoke Night @ Club BnB, Oakland
Sing your heart out at the free lively night. 8pm-2am. 2120 Broadway. (510) 759-7340. www.club-bnb.com
Kittens @ Oasis
The new weekly night for queer guys and their frisky pals, with DJ Sergio Fedasz. $5. 10pm-2am. 298 11th St. at Folsom. class=cfphone> 795-3180. www.sfoasis.com
The Klezmatics @ The New Parish, Oakland
The popular klezmer music ensemble performs as part of the Jewish Music Festival. $26-$30. 8pm. 579 18th St., Oakland. (800) 838-3006. www.jewishmusicfestival.org
Mary Go Round @ Lookout
Suppositori Spelling, Mercedez Munro and Holotta Tymes host the weekly night with DJ Philip Grasso, gogo guys, drink specials, and drag acts. 10pm-2am. 3600 16th St. www.lookoutsf.com
Mazel Top @ Oasis
The new monthly night for Jewish queer guys and their admirers returns for a special Purim party. $5-$7. 9pm-2am. 298 11th St. at Folsom. class=cfphone> 795-3180. www.sfoasis.com
The Monster Show @ The Edge
The dearly missed Cookie Dough's weekly drag show, with gogo guys and hilarious fun. $5. 9pm-2am. 4149 18th St. at Collingwood. www.edgesf.com
My So-Called Night @ Beaux
Carnie Asada hosts a new weekly '90s-themed video, dancin', drinkin' night, with VJs Jorge Terez. Get down with your funky bunch, and enjoy 90-cent drinks. '90s-themed attire and costume contest. No cover. 9pm-2am. 2344 Market St. www.beauxsf.com
Nap's Karaoke @ Virgil's Sea Room
Sing out loud at the weekly least judgmental karaoke in town, hosted by the former owner of the bar. No cover. 9pm. 3152 Mission St. 829-2233. www.virgilssf.com
Nightlife @ California Academy of Sciences
Themed event nights at the fascinating nature museum, with DJed dancing, cocktails, fish, frogs, food and fun. Mar. 5: Micro Nightlife, synthetic biology demps, music by Notown on Mondays, green art workshops, and more. $10-$12. 6pm-10pm, 55 Music Concourse Drive, Golden Gate Park. 379-8000. www.calacademy.org
Pan Dulce @ The Cafe
Amazingly hot Papi gogo guys, cheap drinks and fun DJed dance music. Free before 10pm. $5 til 2am. 2369 Market St. www.clubpapi.com www.cafesf.com
Paula West @ Feinstein's at the Nikko
The talented jazz vocalist performs a six-week engagement at the upscale intimate nightclub/cabaret, performing an eclectic array of songs, from Bob Dylan, Talking Heads and Harry Nilsson to jazz classics. $35-$50. Thu & Fri 8pm. Sat 7pm & 10pm. Sun 7pm. Thru March 22. Hotel Nikko, 222 Mason St. (866) 663-1063. www.ticketweb.com
Sex & the City Live @ Oasis
The drag parody of the Manhattan gal pal TV show returns. $25-$30 and up. 7pm. Thu-Sat. Thru Mar. 28. 298 11th St. at Folsom. 795-3180. www.sfoasis.com
Thirsty Thursdays @ The Cafe
Drink specials, Top 40, gogo studs and no cover. 9pm-2am. 2369 Market St. www.cafesf.com
Tubesteak Connection @ Aunt Charlie's Lounge
Disco guru DJ Bus Station John spins grooves at the intimate retro music night. $4. 10pm-2am. 133 Turk St. at Taylor. www.auntcharlieslounge.com
VIP @ Club 21, Oakland?
Hip Hop, Top 40, and sexy Latin music; gogo dancers, appetizers, and special guest DJs. No cover before 11pm and just $5 after all night. Dancing 9pm-3am. Happy hour 4pm-8:30pm 2111 Franklin St. (510) 268-9425. www.club21oakland.com
Friday, March 6
Beach Blanket Babylon @ Club Fugazi
The musical comedy revue celebrates its 40th year with an ever-changing lineup of political and pop culture icons, all in gigantic wigs. $25-$160. 678 Beach Blanket Babylon Blvd (Green St.). 421-4222. www.beachblanketbabylon.com
Boy Bar @ The Cafe
Gus Presents' weekly dance night, with DJ Kid Sysko, hotty gogos and $2 beer (before 10pm). 2369 Market St. www.cafesf.com
FMLYBND @ Rickshaw Stop
Electropop band (haunting synths, ethereal vocals) performs. OPicture Atlantic opens. $12-$14. 9pm. 155 Fell St. at Van Ness. www.rickshawstop.com
Friday Night @ de Young Museum
Nightlife events at the museum take on different themes, cash bar and live entertainment. $5-$16. 5:30pm-9pm. 50 Hagiwara Tea Garden Drive. www.deyoung.famsf.org
Happy Friday @ Midnight Sun
The popular video bar ends each work week with gogo guys (starting at 9pm) and drink specials. 4067 18th St. 861-4186. www.midnightsunsf.com
Latin Explosion @ Club 21, Oakland
The festive gogo-filled dance club, with host Lulu, features Latin pop dance hits with DJs Speedy Douglas Romero and Fabricio; no cover before 10pm. $6-$12. 9pm-4am. 2111 Franklin St., Oakland. (510) 268-9425. www.club21oakland.com
Manimal @ Beaux
Gogo-tastic dance night starts off your weekend. $5. 9pm-2am. 2344 Market St. www.beauxsf.com
Midnight Show @ Divas
Weekly drag shows at the last transgender-friendly bar in the Polk; with hosts Victoria Secret, Alexis Miranda and several performers. Also Saturdays. $10. 11pm. 1081 Polk St. www.divassf.com
Planet Booty @ Slim's
The fun Oakland funk band, led by the hunky Germick brothers, performs a special benefit concert, with circus ninja Kara Nova, Phone sex Operators, for the SF Homeless Youth Alliance. $13. All ages. 9pm. 333 11th St. www.planetbooty.org www.slimspresents.com
Polyglamorous @ Oasis
The monthly groovy dance night returns, with guest DJ Mark Louque, residents Mark O'Brien and M*J*R. $7. 9pm-2am. 298 11th St. at Folsom. www.sfoasis.com
Red Hots Burlesque @ El Rio
The saucy women's burlesque revue's weekly weekend show; different musical guests each week. $10. 7:30pm. 3158 Mission St. 672-4735. Also Wed nights at Oasis. www.redhotsburlesque.com www.elriosf.com
Rock Fag @ Hole in the Wall
Enjoy hard rock and punk music from DJ Don Baird at the wonderfully divey SoMa bar. 12pm-2am. 1369 Folsom St. 431-4695. www.hitws.com
Some Thing @ The Stud
Mica Sigourney and pals' weekly offbeat drag performance night. Feb 27: a special Gender Dysmorphia-themed show.10pm-2am. 399 9th St. www.studsf.com
Wine, Women and Wellness @ Westin Verasa, Napa
A weekend of wine-tasting from women-owned wineries, dinners, and health panels. Thru March 8. $20-$150. 1314 McKistry St., Napa. www.eventbrite.com
Saturday, March 7
Beer Bust @ Hole in the Wall Saloon
Beer only $8 until you bust. 4pm-8pm. 1369 Folsom St. 431-4695. www.hitws.com
Beer Bust @ SF Eagle
The classic leather bar's most popular Sunday daytime event now also takes place on Saturdays. March 7: Emma Peel's 50th, a fundraiser for AIDS Housing Alliance. 3pm-6pm. 398 12th St. at Harrison. www.sf-eagle.com
La Bota Loca @ Club 21, Oakland
DJed tunes, gogo hotties, drag shows, drink specials, all at Oakland's premiere Latin nightclub and weekly cowboy night. $10-$15. Dancing 9pm-4am. 2111 Franklin St. (510) 268-9425. www.club21oakland.com
Cabaret Showcase @ Hotel Rex
G. Scott Lacy at the piano with guest vocalists. Cocktails and small plates available. 8pm. 562 Sutter St. www.societycabaret.com
Club Rimshot @ Club BNB, Oakland
Get groovin' at the weekly hip hop and R&B night at their new location. $8-$15. 9pm to 4am. 2120 Broadway. (510) 759-7340. www.club-bnb.com
Decker @ Bottom of the Hill
The folk-rock-gospel Americana band performs. $10. 9pm. 1233 17th St. www.deckermusic.org www.bottomofthehill.com
Go Bang @ The Stud
Disco fun dance party with DJs Steve Fabus, Sergio Fedasz, guests Jim Hopkins nad Prince Wolf. $10. 9pm-3am. 399 9th st. www.gobangsf.com www.studsf.com
Hard French @ El Rio
The groovy afternoon soul and 60s girl group vinyl party's 5th birthday is celebrated, with hosts Carnitas, Brown Amy, guest DJs Bus Station John, Wam Bam Ashleyanne, Larsupreme and Paul Paul. BBQ until it's gone. $8. 2pm-8pm. 3158 Mission St. www.elriosf.com
Marco Benevento @ The Independent
The talented pianist/vocalist performs his unique rock-pop-electro intrumentals and lyric songs. Superhuman Happiness opens. $20. 9pm. 628 Divisadero St. 771-1421. www.theindependentsf.com
Mother @ Oasis
Heklina's new weekly drag show night at the fabulous renovated SoMa nightclub; plus DJGuy Ruben. March 7 is another Bjork tribute night! $10. 10pm-2am. 298 11th St. at Folsom. 795-3180. www.sfoasis.com
Sex & Drags & Rock N Roll @ Midnight Sun
Mutha Chucka's wild drag show, with Dulce De Leche, Rahni Nothingmore and other talents; celebrate Mutha's birthday! Shows 10:30pm & 12am. 4067 18th St. 861-4186. www.midnightsunsf.com
Sister Crayon @ Rickshaw Stop
Enjoy Terra Lopez' spooky haunting lyrical vocals and electro vibes; Astronauts, Etc and Nicholas Nicholas open. $12. 9pm. 155 Fell St. at Van Ness. www.rickshawstop.com
Compound @ Oasis
Sunday, March 8
Beer Bust @ Lone Star Saloon
The ursine crowd converges for beer and fun. 4pm-8pm. 1354 Harrison St. www.lonestarsf.com
Beer Bust @ SF Eagle
The classic leather bar's most popular Sunday daytime event in town draws the menfolk. 3pm-6pm. Now also on Saturdays! 398 12th St. at Harrison. www.sf-eagle.com
Big Top @ Beaux
Joshua J.'s homo disco circus night, with guest DJs and performers, hotty gogo guys and drink specials. 9pm-2am. 2344 Market St. www.BeauxSF.com
Brunch @ Hi Tops
Enjoy crunchy sandwiches and mimosas, among other menu items, at the popular sports bar. 2247 Market St. 551-2500. www.HiTopsSF.com
Brunch Sundays/Xtravaganza @ Balancoire
Weekly live music shows with various acts, along with brunch, mimosas, champagne and more, at the stylish nightclub and restaurant. T-Dance drag shows at 7pm, 10pm and 11pm. 2565 Mission St. at 21st. 920-0577. www.balancoiresf.com
Compound @ Oasis
The official closing party of Leather Weekend pays tribute to the venue's sexy leather past, with DJ DAMnation and leather/kink demos. $10. 7pm-2am. 298 11th St. at Folsom. 795-3180. www.sfoasis.com
GlamaZone @ The Cafe
Pollo del Mar's weekly drag shows takes on different themes with a comic edge. 8:30-11:30pm. 2369 Market St. www.cafesf.com
Hey Rosetta @ Brick and Mortar
The moody alt folk Canadian band performs; Owl Paws, The Painted Horses open. $7-$10. 8pm. 1710 Mission St. www.heyrosetta.com www.brickandmortarmusic.com
Jock @ The Lookout
The weekly jock-ular fun continues, with special sports team fundraisers. 3pm-7pm. 3600 16th St. www.lookoutsf.com
The Klipptones @ Neck of the Woods
The local jazz band performs at the club with ample room for swing dancing. No cover, 2pm-5pm. 406 Clement St. www.klipptones.com www.neckofthewoodssf.com
Liquid Brunch @ Beaux
No cover, no food, just drinks (Mimosas, Bloody Marys, etc.) and music. 2pm-9pm. 2344 Market St. www.beauxsf.com
Looking @ Midnight Sun
Viewing parties for the second season of HBO's San Francisco-set gay dramedy series. 10pm. 4067 18th St. 861-4186. www.midnightsunsf.com
Salsa Sundays @ El Rio
Salsa dancing for LGBT folks and friends, with live merengue and cumbia bands; tapas and donations that support local causes. 2nd & 4th Sundays. 3pm-8pm. 3158 Mission St. 282-3325. www.elriosf.com
Sundance Saloon @ Space 550
Dance it up at the popular twice-weekly country-western dance night that includes line-dancing, two-stepping and lessons. $5. 5pm-10:30pm. Also Thursdays 6:30pm-10:30pm. 550 Barneveld Ave. at Industrial. www.sundancesaloon.org
Sunday's a Drag @ Starlight Room
Donna Sachet hosts the weekly fabulous brunch and drag show. $45. 11am, show at noon; 1:30pm, show at 2:30pm. 450 Powell St. in Union Square. 395-8595. www.starlightroomsf.com
Monday, March 9
Cock and Bull Mondays @ Hole in the Wall Saloon
Specials on drinks made with Cock and Bull ginger ale (Jack and Cock, Russian Mule, and more). 8pm-closing. 1369 Folsom St. 431-4695. www.hitws.com
Drag Mondays @ The Cafe
Mahlae Balenciaga and DJ Kidd Sysko's weekly drag and dance night, 2014's last of the year. 9pm-1am. 2369 Market St. www.cafesf.com
Epic Karaoke @ White Horse, Oakland
Mondays and Tuesdays popular weekly sing-along night. No cover. 8:30pm-1am. 6551 Telegraph Ave, (510) 652-3820. www.whitehorsebar.com
Irish Dance Night @ Starry Plough, Berkeley
Weekly dance lessons and live music at the pub-restaurant, hosted by John Slaymaker. $5. 7pm. 3101 Shattuck Ave., Berkeley. www.thestarryplough.com
Karaoke @ The Lookout
Paul K hosts the amateur singing night. 8pm-2am. 3600 16th St. at Market. www.lookoutsf.com
Mahogany Mondays @ Midnight Sun
Honey Mahogany's weekly drag and musical talent show starts around 10pm. 4067 18th St. 861-4186. www.midnightsunsf.com
Mash Up Mondays @ Club BnB, Oakland
Weekly Karaoke and open mic night; RuPaul's Drag Race screenings, too. 9pm-2am. 2120 Broadway. (510) 759-7340. www.club-bnb.com
Monday Musicals @ The Edge
The casts of local and visiting musicals often pop in to perform at the popular Castro bar's musical theatre night; also Wednesdays. 7pm-2am. 2 for 1 cocktail, 5pm-closing. 4149 18th St. at Collingwood. www.edgesf.com
Name That Beat @ Toad Hall
BeBe Sweetbriar hosts a weekly musical trivia challenge and drag show. 8:30-11:30pm. 4146 18th St. at Castro. www.toadhallbar.com
No No Bingo @ Virgil's Sea Room
Mica Sigourney and Tom Temprano cohost the wacky weekly game night at the cool Mission bar. 8pm. 3152 Mission St. www.virgilssf.com
Opulence @ Beaux
New weekly dance night, with Jocques, DJs Tori, Twistmix and Andre. 9pm-2am. 2344 Market St. www.beauxsf.com
Performerama @ Oasis
Marga Gomez' new monthly variety show of comedy, storytelling and more, this time includes a new excerpt from her solo show Pound , plus Persia ("Google, Google, Apps, Apps"), magician Christian Cagigal, journalist Barry Walters, and comics Roman Rimer and presenter/comic Laurie Bushman. $8-$10. 8pm. 298 11th St. at Folsom. 795-3180. www.sfoasis.com
Piano Bar 101 @ Martuni's
Sing-along night with talented locals, and charming accompanist Joe Wicht (aka Trauma Flintstone). 9pm. 4 Valencia St. at Market. www.dragatmartunis.com
Underwear Night @ 440
Strip down to your skivvies at popular men's night. 9pm-2am. 440 Castro St. 621-8732. www.the440.com
Tuesday, March 10
Block Party @ Midnight Sun
Weekly screenings of music videos, concert footage, interviews and more, of popular pop stars. 9pm-2am. 4067 18th St. 861-4186. www.midnightsunsf.com
Bombshell Betty & Her Burlesqueteers @ Elbo Room
The weekly burlesque show of women dancers shaking their bonbons includes live music. $10. 9pm. 647 Valencia St. 552-7788. www.elbo.com
Cock Shot @ Beaux
Shot specials and adult Bingo games, with DJs Chad Bays and Riley Patrick, at the new weekly night. No cover. 9pm-2am. 2344 Market St. www.beauxsf.com
Funny Tuesdays @ Harvey's
Ronn Vigh hosts the weekly LGBT and gay-friendly comedy night. One-drink or menu item minimum. 9pm. 500 Castro St. at 18th. 431-HARV. www.harveyssf.com
Gay Skate Night @ Church on 8 Wheels
LGBT night at the former Sacred Heart Church-turned disco roller skate party space, hosted by John D. Miles, the "Godfather of Skate." Actually, every night is gay-friendly, including Saturday's Black Rock night (Burning Man garb encouraged). Also Wed, Thu, 7pm-10pm. Sat afternoon sessions 1pm-2:30pm and 3pm-5:30pm. $10. Kids 12 and under $5. Skate rentals $5. 554 Fillmore St at Fell. www.churchof8wheels.com
Ink & Metal @ Powerhouse
Show off your tattoos and piercings at the weekly cruisy SoMa bar night. 10pm-2am. 1347 Folsom St. www.powerhousebar.com
Meow Mix @ The Stud
The weekly themed variety cabaret showcases new and unusual talents; MC Ferosha Titties. $3-$7. Show at 11pm. 9pm-2am. 399 9th St. at Harrison. www.studsf.com
Naked Night @ Nob Hill Theatre
Strip down with the strippers at the cruisy adult theatre and arcade; free beverages. $20. 8pm. 729 Bush St. at Powell. 397-6758. www.thenobhilltheatre.com
Una Noche @ Club BnB, Oakland
Vicky Jimenez' drag show and contest; Latin music all night. 9pm-2am. 2120 Broadway. (510) 759-7340. www.club-bnb.com
Retro Night @ 440 Castro
Jim Hopkins plays classic pop oldies, with vintage music videos. 9pm-2am. 44 Castro St. www.the440.com
The Shondes @ Brick and Mortar
The fun Brooklyn rock band, with lead vocalist Louisa Rachel Solomon, performs; The Galloping Sea, Half Blast open. $5-$10. 8pm. 1710 Mission St. www.brickandmortarmusic.com
Showdown @ Folsom Foundry
Weekly game night for board and electronic gamers at the warehouse multi-purpose nightclub. 21+. 6pm-12am. 1425 Folsom St. www.showdownesports.com
Switch @ Q Bar
Weekly women's night at the stylish intimate bar. 9pm-2am. 456 Castro St. www.QbarSF.com
Trivia Night @ Hi Tops
Play the trivia game at the popular new sports bar. 9pm. 2247 Market St. 551-2500. www.HiTopsSF.com
Underwear Night @ Club OMG
Weekly underwear night includes free clothes check, and drink specials; different hosts each week. $3. 10pm-2am. Preceded by Open Mic Comedy, 7pm, no cover. 43 6th St. www.clubomgsf.com
Unitard, House of Tards @ Oasis
The sketch comedy trio (Mike Albo, Nora Burns and David Ilku)'s hilarious array of pop culture parodies covers everything from sick celebs to Skruff. $15. 8pm. 298 11th St. at Folsom. 795-3180. www.sfoasis.com
Wednesday, March 11
Bingo @ Club OMG
Michael Brandon hosts the board game night (3rd Wed). 7pm. 43 6th St. www.clubomgsf.com
Booty Call @ QBar
Juanita More! and her weekly intimate dance party. $10-$15. 9pm-2am. 456 Castro St. www.qbarsf.com
Bondage a GoGo @ Cat Club
The (mostly straight) kinky weekly dance night, where fetish gear is welcome; DJs Damon and Tomas Diablo play electro, goth, industrial, etc. 9:30pm-2:30am. 1190 Folsom St. www.bondage-a-go-go.com
Bottoms Up Bingo @ Hi Tops
Play board games and win offbeat prizes at the popular sports bar. 9pm. 2247 Market St. 551-2500. www.HiTopsSF.com
B.P.M. @ Club BnB, Oakland
Olga T and Shugga Shay's weekly queer women and men's R&B hip hop and soul night, at the club's new location. No cover. 8pm-2am. 2120 Broadway, Oakland. www.bench-and-bar.com
Dream Queens Revue @ Aunt Charlie's Lounge
San Francisco's most fabulicious drag show celebrates its eighth anniversary this month, featuring Collette LeGrande, Ruby Slippers, Sophilya Leggz, Bobby Ashton, Sheena Rose, Kipper, and Joie de Vivre. No cover. 9:30-11:30pm. 133 Turk St. 441-2922. www.dreamqueensrevue.com
Miss Kitty's Trivia Night @ Wild Side West
The weekly fun night at the Bernal Heights bar includes prizes, hosted by Kitty Tapata. No cover. 7pm-10pm. 424 Cortland St. 647-3099. www.wildsidewest.com
Open Mic/Comedy @ SF Eagle
Kollin Holts hosts the weekly comedy and open mic talent night. 6pm-8pm. 398 12th St. www.sf-eagle.com
Pussy Party @ Beaux
Weekly women's happy hour, with all-women music and live performances, 2 for 1 drinks, and no cover. 5pm-9am. 2344 Market St. www.beauxsf.com
Rainbow Skate @ Redwood Roller Rink
Weekly LGBT and friends skate night, with groovy disco music and themed events. $9. 8pm-10:30pm. 1303 Main Street, Redwood City. www.rainbowskate.net www.facebook.com/rainbowskating/
Red Hots Burlesque @ Oasis
The saucy women's burlesque revue has moved to the new SoMa nightclub; different musical guests each week. $10-$20. Wednesdays at 8:30pm-11:30pm. 298 11th St. at Folsom. 795-3180. www.sfoasis.com
So You Think You Can Gogo? @ Toad Hall
The weekly dancing competition for gogo wannabes. 9pm. cash prizes, $2 well drinks (2 for 1 happy hour til 9pm). Show at 9pm. 4146 18th St. www.toadhallbar.com
Trivia Night @ Harvey's
BeBe Sweetbriar hosts a weekly night of trivia quizzes and fun and prizes; no cover. 8pm-1pm. 500 Castro St. 431-4278. www.harveyssf.com
Way Back @ Midnight Sun
Weekly screenings of vintage music videos and retro drink prices. Check out the new expanded front window lounge. 9pm-2am. 4067 18th St. 861-4186. www.midnightsunsf.com
Wooden Nickel Wednesday @ 440
Buy a drink and get a wooden nickle good for another. 12pm-2am. 440 Castro St. 621-8732. www.the440.com
Wrangler Wednesday @ Rainbow Cattle Company, Guerneville
The Russian River bar's country music night attracts cowboys and those who like to ride 'em. 8pm-1am. 16220 Main St., Guerneville. (707) 869-0206. www.queersteer.com
Thursday, March 12
Bulge @ Powerhouse
Grace Towers hosts the weekly gogo-tastic night of sexy dudes shakin' their bulges and getting wet in their undies for $100 prize (with a contest at midnight), and dance beats spun by DJ DAMnation. 10pm-2am. 1347 Folsom St. www.powerhousebar.com
Funny Fun @ Club 21, Oakland
Weekly LGBT and straight comedy night hosted by Dan Mires. $10. 8pm. 2111 Franklin St. Oakland. (510) 268-9425. www.club21oakland.com
Gym Class @ Hi Tops
Enjoy cheap whiskey shots from jock-strapped hotties and sexy sports videos at the popular new sports bar. 10pm-2am. 2247 Market St. 551-2500. www.HiTopsSF.com
Karaoke Night @ Club BnB, Oakland
Sing your heart out at the free lively night. 8pm-2am. 2120 Broadway. (510) 759-7340. www.club-bnb.com
Mister Wives @ The Independent
Sparkly pop band performs. Borns and Handsome Ghost open. $15. 8pm. 628 Divisadero St. 771-1421. www.theindependentsf.com
The Monster Show @ The Edge
The dearly missed Cookie Dough's weekly drag show with gogo guys. $5. 9pm-2am. 4149 18th St. at Collingwood. www.edgesf.com
Nightlife @ California Academy of Sciences
Themed event nights at the fascinating nature museum, with DJed dancing, cocktails, fish, frogs, food and fun. Mar. 12: Mind & Body Nightlife, with DJ Britt Govea, pop-up yoga, raw food cokking demos and healthy snacks. $10-$12. 6pm-10pm, 55 Music Concourse Drive, Golden Gate Park. 379-8000. www.calacademy.org
Pan Dulce @ The Cafe
Enjoy amazingly hot Papi gogo guys, cheap drinks and fun DJed dance music. Free before 10pm. $5 til 2am. 2369 Market St. www.clubpapi.com www.cafesf.com
Thirsty Thursdays @ The Cafe
Drink specials, Top 40, gogo studs and no cover. 9pm-2am. 2369 Market St. www.cafesf.com
Thump @ White Horse, Oakland
Weekly electro music night with DJ Matthew Baker and guests. 9pm-2am. 6551 Telegraph Ave, (510) 652-3820. www.whitehorsebar.com
Tubesteak Connection @ Aunt Charlie's Lounge
Enjoy retro disco tunes and a fun diverse crowd, each Thursday, with DJ Bus Station John. $4. 10pm-2am. 133 Turk St. at Taylor. www.auntcharlieslounge.com
Want your nightlife event listed? Get the word out. Email [email protected], at least two weeks before your event. Event photos welcome.