With a drink and a smile, they give us what we want. And although they're professionals, sometimes we can't help but hope for more than a cocktail or a beer. What is it about bartenders that's such an attraction? And what happens when a customer wants more than a glassful?
Inspired by "Bartender," gay singer-songwriter Eric Himan's catchy tune about a customer's drunken crush, I asked three of San Francisco's more popular bartenders what it's like to be the subject of amorous alcohol-induced affection. Not surprisingly, these sanguine saloon servers are not only good at what they do. They're engaged in our community and enjoy their jobs.
Regular Joe
His muscular frame and tattooed arms have plenty of appeal, but moreso, Joe Lovitt's smile reveals a boyish glow wrapped in a sarcastic sense of humor.
Born and raised in Sylvania, Ohio, Lovitt came out big at age 16 as "the gay kid" in a large Catholic family that includes a lesbian sister. He lived in Hawaii before making San Francisco his current home four and a half years ago.
"I was a deck hand and waiter on boats in Maui," Lovitt said of his diversion from working for nonprofits after his college years in Human Services. "I kind realized I enjoyed the boating thing a bit more, so I got my captain's license."
After "getting the itch" to move to the Bay Area, Lovitt, now 31, brought his affable people skills to leading the Ride the Ducks tours. "It's kind of embarrassing to admit, but to be able to be a comedian and just make people laugh for an hour and a half on a tour, four times a day was great." Lovitt also led thousands of hours worth of whale-watching trips to the Farrallon Islands and other boating-related tours.
But a Facebook job post for bartenders at the Eagle led to Lovitt being the first person hired in advance of the popular leather bar's re-opening in March. "I started part time, but now I'm more into it," he said. "It's brought a lot of good things into my life."
"It's been a wild ride working for the Eagle, because I'm kind of a public ambassador. You represent the business. People know me. I'll sometimes make a sarcastic Facebook post, but it's all in fun."
As part of that fun, Lovitt will be competing in the Mr. Eagle contest on December 12 at the bar (3pm-6pm). Lovitt said he prefers working at The Eagle's back bar, and compared it to manning a ship, in a way. "I like to be in control, see who's there. I've always enjoyed working with people. It just makes it more fun."
Fun for patrons as well, especially when Lovitt's dressed in a jock strap and little else. Yet he feels comfortable presenting himself in a sexy way, "because I have this big barrier, the bar. It's a wonderful thing. There's always someone who makes a pass, but it's just not my style to respond much. I think I've kissed guys, like, twice. I'm very polite. But as some of the older bartenders have told me, it's like playing a role, which is very true. I've been Captain Joe, Duck Tour Joe. But I'm always respectful."
Lovitt does endure some amusing flirtations, like one favorite line from a patron, "This drink would go down easier if you had your shirt off." But what about when guys hit on him in a less than polite way?
"I mention my imaginary husband. I've had several boyfriends." He's currently dating. "Sometimes I'm 'straight.' It depends," he smiled.
"If someone's drinking too much, we kind of reel them in, and help them out. I watch people, offer a bottle of water as a gesture. People usually recognize that as, 'Okay, someone's telling me something I'm not recognizing. I'm very honest, direct and respectful. Aggression doesn't work. By two o'clock, the bar's empty, and I'm in a sort of safe zone. I'm done playing the 'good time' role."
And although he does work at the most prominent leather bar, the straps and chaps don't make moving around comfortable; thus the jock straps and swim trunks. "You're just sweating all night and you need to be comfortable. I like underwear, since I like to 'swing.' "
Lovitt said his major social outlet is his time spent at The Eagle, where he usually works Thursdays through Sundays. He enjoys contrasting quiet time with his friends and his beloved dog along with enjoying the outdoors. When he does go out, he occasionally enjoys being part of a community of coworkers. "There is a kind of bartender code, when we go to each others' bars. We kind of take care of each other, talk shop, event flyers, what works and what doesn't."
And although his tourism jobs included mostly straight tourists, he said he likes the familiarity of working in a gay bar, specifically one like the Eagle, which attracts a diverse clientele. "I've worked in P-Town, New York, and the thing I like about The Eagle is, anyone can walk in there."
"Most gay people have gone to gay bars since they were young," said Lovitt. "Tourists at Pride can be a bit more difficult. I love the big holidays, but it's a whole difference experience. On big days, I just don't drink behind the bar. With locals, I tend to drink a bit more, because it's more relaxed. And then," he smiled again. "If you're lucky, some clothes come off, too."
Simultaneously self-deprecating and charming, Lovitt called himself a "wet bartender. I get very messy with my pours. Some of the other bartenders use one word to describe my style as 'moist.' I swear it's just the bar itself. The management doesn't mind if my pours are bit too generous. I bring something positive to the bar."
But as witnessed one night, Lovitt, clad only in a Speedo and shoes, had almost a dozen men lined up at his side of the bar, while his coworkers had notably fewer patrons. At a typical beer bust, he said he can make up to $500 a day.
"We make jokes about it, but it's okay, because we pool tips," he said. "I don't mind working harder, or just in a difference sense, because it all balances out. At the end of the night, my coworkers have their tips neatly piled up, and I just have a pile of wet, soggy money."