On a recent Friday evening, I exited up the South side stairs of the Castro Muni station to see a group of skinny-jeans-clad twentysomethings strolling toward the epicenter of the Castro area bars. Sandwiched between the fashionable young partygoers was the tallest of the tribe, embraced in a red striped hoodie, who said to his sole gal pal of the group, "Don't worry about not having a date tonight- you're with your gay friends, and we're more fun than any date could be! We know what to do!"
Popular slang would refer to her as a "fag hag"- a lady who often associates with gay men more often than not, a woman who be found at heavily gay populated venues drinking, dining and most likely gossiping with her fabulous queer companions.
Sometimes it's hard for a gay man to relinquish control of his social calendar, but just sometimes, they do, and in this article we'll explore where San Francisco ladies feel most comfortable partying down with their gay male friends, or shall we say, their "hag fags?"
Stephanie Stolorow, an eight-year resident of San Francisco, describes herself as a singer at local clubs and music venues, a yoga teacher and a graduate student. As an inimitable multi-culti intersection of culture and nightlife, Stolorow's favorite neighborhood to unwind is San Francisco's Mission district. Before hitting the bars, she prefers a leisurely stay at the scenic Dolores Park, nestled between the Castro and Mission neighborhoods. From hippies to hipsters, straights to gays, dog lovers and the random few who bring their beloved pet cat on a leash, Dolores Park brings together a diverse group of folks, and it's free.
Stolorow cites Dolores Park as a comfortable and charming place to kick back with her pals, both gay and straight, and on a warm sunny day she says the park, especially the top tier toward 20th Street that's frequently nicknamed Speedo Ridge.
As Stephanie opts to sit back in the sunshine and sip her champagne while staring out at the eye candy atop the rolling green landscape, well known "faux" queen Anita Cocktail belts it out, often with an oversized martini glass in tow, as well as her "hag fags," or perhaps, in her case, her "dyke tykes." Anita is the alter-ego to cabaret performer Leanne Borghesi who also does not limit her good time to the Castro.
"As a queer gal myself, I personally feel that all of San Francsico is my mecca to be able to go wherever I choose with my friends," says Borghesi. "I definitely do my share of bar-hopping, dancing and partying in this town and have a grand time doing it as Leanne or Anita."
One of Leanne's first picks to party with her gay pals is Martuni's (4 Valencia St. at Market) a martini and piano bar located on the fringes of both the Castro and Mission neighborhoods.
"A big-boned gal like me, with thirsty friends, always enjoys singing a good up-tempo Broadway tune while sipping on some of the most reasonably priced, and nicely sized, vodka martinis!"
Once she has gotten her piano bar fix, Leanne loves to stroll up the street to The Mint (1942 Market St.), a neighborhood karaoke bar, where she can "kick it up Guns N' Roses style," always around a great mix of people and energy.
Some locals might gasp in disgust at the notion of Union Square -busy with street vendors, cable cars and tourist-trap restaurants- yet Leanne thrives on it.
"Both Anita and Leanne have been seen hanging perpendicular on a cable car, celebrating this city's fabulous energy, people and diversity," she says.
Amid the epicenter of chain store shopping and hotels, Leanne enjoys spending time at Harry Denton's Starlight Room (450 Powell St.).
"It's a spot for those classy gals and pals who want to dress up snazzy and sip champagne and watch San Francisco in its splendor," says Borghesi. In keeping with her cabaret roots, the Starlight Room is also a great place to catch one-of-a-kind performances, such as Donna Sachet's weekly brunch revue, Sunday's a Drag.
Just a couple BART stops away, Leanne shouts out "Ay Ay Ay Ay Ay" when raving about the fun she has at Esta Noche (3079 16th St.). "A cold Corona, shot of Cuervo, Salsa, Meringue and lot's of Aqua Net" are all in sight as she kicks her heels up for a night in the Mission.
Katie Compa works in public relations-by day and stand up comedy by night. Between her two jobs and having lots of gay male friends, she keeps a full social schedule which involves a lot of brunch, drinking and schmoozing.
One place she loves to share a toast with her guy pals is Blackbird (2124 Market St.). Nestled in narrow digs on Market Street steps from Church Station, Katie enjoys Blackbird for "the good and comfortable mix of people, gay and straight alike." Borghesi seconds that, adding "It's a chill yet sassy, mixed environment which is always great for people watching and conversations with friends over a glass of Pinot."
While Blackbird boasts an impressive list of creative house-made cocktails, if you want to step up your cocktail game a notch, both Leanne and Katie recommend treating your friends to the Speakeasy style of Bourbon and Branch (501 Jones St.). "They have awesome cocktails and it's just snooty enough that you get to think you're cool for going there!"
These fabulous ladies have proven that, on or off stage, they are no strangers to having a good time. Whether you have an endless credit limit or a slim budget, follow their suggestions and you won't ever have to worry about your social life being "on the rocks."