Martin Moran wrote a play exploring forgiveness and a play exploring anger, and both have origins in a sexually abusive relationship that began when Moran was 12 years old. That they are both one-man shows written for him to perform emphasizes just how personal they are. But did they bring closure? No, Moran says, because he doesn't believe there is such a thing.
"Closure is not something for human beings," he said. "We live in a certain ongoing unknowingness, and the journey keeps unfolding until we die �" and maybe even after that."
The Tricky Part and All the Rage were first performed off-Broadway in 2004 and 2013, respectively, and Moran has performed them together several times in repertory since then. He will again be offering the solo dramas on alternate nights when performances begin Nov. 29 at ACT's Strand Theater.
While audience reactions to The Tricky Part were an impetus for Moran to write All the Rage, he said it is not necessary to have seen the former in order to appreciate the latter. "There's a way in which, in a very concise way, certain elements of The Tricky Part show up toward the beginning of All the Rage to give context to some of the questions that formulate it."
Moran's main livelihood comes from performing in big Broadway musicals, including Spamalot, Cabaret, and more than 800 performances in Titanic. But between shows, he began working on The Tricky Part, which explores his journey from being molested over several years by a counselor named Bob at a Catholic summer camp, through therapy and suicide attempts, to finally confronting the abuser some 30 years later. The encounter with the ailing man, confined to a hospital bed, proved more sorrowful than angry. Reactions to that denouement would eventually give rise to All the Rage.
In the newer show, he reads a sentence from a review of The Tricky Part that remarked on his inability "to blame or despise his molester." And there were encounters with audience members who were furious with him for not more explicitly condemning his abuser. It was like, he said, "being called out for missing an essential piece, or skipping or being frightened of anger."
But that's not what The Tricky Part is meant to be about, Moran said. "It's an inquiry into the complexity of the human experience, and not about casting blame or being angry. But it bugged me enough that the question of anger kept coming up that I wondered, Wow, did I somehow skip it?"
As the years went by, Moran, now 56, realized he had every reason to be angry. "When the abuse started, it was explosive," Moran said. "Bob was a charming, charismatic, large guy, and it was utterly terrifying and also a source of sheer pleasure. I was a budding homosexual, but I didn't know that at 12, and it took me many years to say, 'I am a homosexual, and that guy didn't make me this way.' There is a very valid reason why this is a crime in our culture, because it's the adult's job to have boundaries, and a kid's job to fall in love with life."
While The Tricky Part concentrates on the ramifications of a specific experience, All the Rage interweaves a diverse selection of situations encountered by Moran that shed some light on the role that anger plays in our lives. "I really had to put some thinking into it because I realized, 'Oh my God, I'm still not at the bottom of this pain, and am I not at the bottom of it because I haven't really purged the anger?' So the play is kind of a quest to understand that, and to realize that we all of us are these broken beings in this mystery together."
In All the Rage, Moran slides into his subjects, talking first about interactions between drivers and pedestrians on the streets of New York before things become more personal. He talks about a loathed stepmother, an estranged brother, and his mother, who had her own punching bag to let off steam. There is also the story of an asylum-seeker from Chad who had been tortured by guerrillas. Moran finds himself as a French-to-English translator for the scarred man, and he marvels at the refugee's lack of animosity.
"And then there is the fallout from The Tricky Part, and that includes someone I call Ben, who was another boy molested by Bob, and that becomes part of the story at a certain part," Moran said. "All the Rage is definitely fractured, like looking through a prism at the many different angles of the function and the energy of anger."
With both plays, Moran takes care to disarm the audience before moving into fraught territories. "My director Seth Barrish and I really strategized on how and when to present information," he said. "It's like guiding someone deep into a garden safely, taking really good care of the audience and of myself. I'm nervous, and it helps to laugh together, and it helps me to know we're in this together. And then I can think, 'Yeah, the audience is with me. I'm going to be okay.'"
The Tricky Part and All the Rage will run in repertory Nov. 29-Dec. 11 at ACT's Strand Theater. Tickets are $25-$60. Call (415) 749-2228 or go to act-sf.org.