Three wisecracking queens are making their way to Oasis, bearing the gifts of gab and song. In something of a Christmas coup, the club has booked solo holiday shows from a troika of tinseled drag queens in a single week.
There's sure to be plenty of camp and snark when Justin Honard (Alaska Thunderfuck, Kent Fuher (Jackie Beat), and Shane Jenek (Courtney Act) unload Santa's sack onstage.
We asked the guys to drop the guises here to have a (mostly) earnest conversation about their Christmas memories, traditions, and plans.
Hark! The hairy angels sing.
Justin (Alaska): I grew up in Erie, Pennsylvania. We were pretty poor when we were kids, but we always had really amazing Christmases. I'm not sure how my parents made it happen.
Kent (Jackie): Honestly, all my childhood memories of Christmas are good ones. You'd never guess that from my shows, huh? My mother was born in Italy and she would always go to the one little Italian specialty market in Scottsdale, Arizona where we lived and buy cheese tortellini and this delicious nougat candy.
Shane (Courtney): In Australia where I grew up, it's 90 degrees on Christmas Day, so we had the turkey and traditional fixings, but we'd always go to the beach and swim. Sometimes we'd barbecue.
Jackie: My mom would cook all day and everything was perfect-except for the dinner rolls. Every year, no matter what, she always forgot them in the oven and they burned. And then she'd scream "Fuck!" with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth. Good times.
Alaska: One year, I was maybe eight, I got a cat. It was a complete surprise. She was calico, with spots of black and caramel. Her name was Spice, because she looked like a whole collection of spices had been dumped on a cat. And Spice came from Santa, not my parents. I believed in Santa Claus for a very long time. And I'm still holding out.
Courtney: I remember getting some of my favorite picture books for Christmas: The Magic Possum, the Wilfrid Gordon series, and Snuggle Pot & Cuddle Pie. But one Christmas, I asked for a She-Ra doll and I was really mad when I got man dolls, like He-Man. I remember taking off their clothes and touching those smooth, hairless muscly bodies. It was like a preview of my future life in West Hollywood.
Courtney Act
Alaska: A couple years ago, I got the best gift ever; a dress, from my mother. She actually contacted Dallas Coulter in San Francisco who makes my outfits and ordered me a gown. That was so thoughtful. And it was really exciting for her to be involved like that.
Jackie: The best gift I ever got was my dog, Baby, from my best friend [L.A. nightlife impresario] Mario Diaz. She changed my life-maybe saved it. Sadly, she is sniffing butts and peeing on the carpet up in Heaven. I am not a religious person, but I really hope to be reunited with her one day.
Alaska: The last two years, I've been making it a point to go home and be with my family on Christmas. I like getting to go there and be there, even if its just for the day. I get to see my niece and grandma and parents.
Courtney: I have a nephew for the first time this year. I'm really looking forward to being the weird uncle who gives gender neutral gifts to the children.
Jackie: I'm usually touring with my holiday show right up until Christmas, so by the time it finally comes around, I just want to relax. I really love having Christmas dinner out at a restaurant. No cooking, no cleaning, no doing the dishes, no leftovers. I also love a home-cooked meal, but eating out is much less stressful, and somehow it seems just a little rebellious.
Jackie Beat
Alaska: When I'm in Erie for the holidays, it's so fun going to The Zone, which is our gay bar. That's where the people who knew me before Drag Race are. We all went through growing up there together, so it's great to hang out and have our two-dollar drinks and smoke inside the bar, which is still allowed there.
When I was a kid, the nearest big city was Pittsburgh, and when that felt too small, I went to L.A. As I get older, I appreciate where I'm from. People are normal there. I haven't done drag in Erie for a long time. I just like to go home.
Courtney: I'm staying in L.A. for Christmas this year. I'll probably spend it with Bianca del Rio. One year, before Drag Race, I was at The Abbey in sort of Christmas drag and I ended up sitting in a booth drinking with Marilyn Manson.
Jackie: I can't remember ever doing drag on Christmas. I only do drag if I'm getting paid. I have nothing against Christmas drag, if someone wants to cough up some cash.
Alaska: I like being in drag for New Year's Eve, though. I mean, they say whatever you're doing on New Year's Eve is what your going to be doing for the rest of the year, so...
Alaska Thunderfuck
Courtney: This is a weird year to be doing a Christmas show. I was putting mine together before November 8, and now some of the songs have a bit of a dark, melancholy element to them: "Hard Candy Christmas," John Lennon's "So This is Christmas"? "So this is is Christmas, and what have we done?" Really! What have we done?
Jackie: I put it all in the show: I'll be doing a Donald Trump song, a Melania song, and a song about Mike Pence. Besides, I've always eaten my feelings, and the fact that our country is a flaming bag of shit just makes gorging myself with fattening food seem even more justified than usual. My new holiday songs include one about having sex on my rooftop with some of the neighborhood boys and a charming ditty that's about the holidays and the election: "Nazi the Snowman."
Courtney Act @ Oasis
The drag singer performs holiday classics made popular by music divas. $25-$35. 7:30pm. Dec. 18 & 19. 298 11th St. www.sfoasis.com
Jackie Beat @ Oasis
Caustic Christmas comedy and songs from LA's best drag act, in her new show, The Ghost of Christmas Trash. $30. Dec. 20, 7pm & 9pm. 298 11th St. www.sfoasis.com
Alaska Thunderfuck @ Oasis
The naughty funny RuPaul's Drag Race star performs a raunchy Christmas show. $30-$75. 7pm & 9:30pm. Dec. 21, 22 & 23 (7pm only). 298 11th St. www.sfoasis.com