April is the cruelest month, quoth Eliot. He's not wrong. As the Daily Donald Trump Show continues on every network 24/7, we need TV more than ever. But we've had some moments of disappointment from our chosen side of the aisle as well, notably Bernie Sanders telling our lesbian friend Rachel Maddow on March 30 that he wasn't going to be raising money for Democratic candidates.
This was a blow to many Sanders supporters and Democrats who are hoping to regain the Senate along with holding onto the White House come November. Sanders has a prodigious fundraising campaign and has out-raised Hillary Clinton five months in a row. Maddow asked if he would address the down ticket as Clinton has been doing, raising money for Democrats like Tammy Duckworth, Kamala Harris and Donna Edwards, and campaigning for them as well. Sanders said he was focusing all his money and energy on becoming the presidential nominee.
The importance of regaining the Senate has been made clear by the behavior of the GOP. The latest stunts from the billionaire GOP frontrunner included being on every network on March 30 standing up for his campaign manager, Corey Lewandowski, charged with battery of reporter Michelle Fields. Trump has also said that punishing women for abortions would be necessary after Roe v. Wade was repealed under his presidency. Oh, and in the Town Hall interview with Hardball 's Chris Matthews, he tossed out that he was leaving nuclear weapons on the table with Iran, ISIS and North Korea. We assume Megyn Kelly could not be ruled out.
Trump's comments have been so over-the-top, his closest rival, Sen. Ted Cruz, was left to opine about Trump on Jimmy Kimmel Live March 30. When asked by Kimmel whom he liked better, Pres. Obama or Trump. Cruz replied, "I dislike Obama's policies more, but I will say Donald is a unique individual."
Cruz followed a guest who had shown viewers how to scare a friend on April Fool's Day by taping a photo of Trump to the back of the friend's car, covering the back-up camera. This was pretty funny. Cruz joked, "If I were in my car and getting ready to reverse, and I saw Donald in my back-up camera, I'm not confident which pedal I'd push." Wild applause.
Yet the next day, CNN's Jake Tapper had this exchange on his show, The Lead: "If he wasn't Ted Cruz, he probably would be reported and investigated by the Secret Service," Karen Giorno, identified by CNN as Southeast regional director for the Trump campaign, told Tapper. "It should offend every American. This is a presidential race," said the staffer of a GOP candidate who boasted at a rally two months ago, "I could stand in the middle of 5th Ave. and shoot somebody and I wouldn't lose voters," and who had just stood up for Lewandowski, when there's also videotape of him grabbing a protester by the collar at a rally. Irony klaxon.
"This is not a time to be joking about the front-runner, essentially running him over and causing him harm or death," Giorno continued. You can't make anything up this season, it's all "Whut?!" every day. "This is not the kind of humor we want. My candidate has Secret Service protection for a reason. There are people out there out to physically harm him, OK? So what we're talking about, another presidential candidate talking about backing over him with a car, that's not funny."
We thought it was funny. The audience thought it was funny. But Giorno's response, cued by Trump, should make everyone all the more terrorized by the idea of a Trump presidency. If he gets this upset at a joke, imagine what would happen if a world leader dissed him. Given that scariness, the best TV moment in recent days was Anderson Cooper challenging Trump at yet another Town Hall on March 30.
Cooper: "After saying you were going to spill the beans about Heidi Cruz, you retweeted an unflattering picture of her next to a picture of your wife."
Donald Trump: "I thought it was a nice picture of Heidi. I thought it was fine." The photo was hideous.
"Come on."
"I thought it was fine. She's a pretty woman."
"You're running for president of the United States."
"Excuse me, excuse me. I didn't start it. I didn't start it."
"But sir, with all due respect: That's the argument of a five-year-old."
"I didn't start it �" no, it's not."
"The argument of a five-year-old is, 'He started it.'"
"Excuse me. You would say that. That's the problem with our country."
"Every parent knows a five-year-old who says, 'He started it.'"
To say this exchange was made better by Cooper being an out gay man whose mother, Gloria Vanderbilt, is friends with Trump is just icing. The riposte with Cooper led to Stephen Colbert taking on cartoon Trump later that night on The Late Show. Colbert began a bit on the March 30 show with, "Speaking of stupid and Mad Men: Donald Trump." Colbert said Trump's staff could always tell his mood based on what color hat he's wearing. "It's like the old saying: Cap of white, friend in sight. Cap of red, we're all dead. Yeah, Trump does act like a five-year-old, but that's why people like him," Colbert explained. "He's uncomplicated. If he's angry, he shouts. If he's happy, he wears 'Happy Hat.' He loves building towers, and he thinks girls are kinda yucky."
Colbert noted how Trump had said Lewandowski had protected him from Fields, because "she could have had a little bomb," and "her pen could have been a knife."
"Yes! Her pen," Colbert said, picking up his pen. "Her pen could have been a little bomb. And her fingers could have been a gun. Pew! Pew! Pew!" Colbert pretended to shoot with his finger guns. "Or even scissors," he said, "or rock or paper! Or worse, she could have used that pen to write down something he said. There's no telling how much damage that could do!"
Then a cartoon image of Trump appeared. The very orange Trump began with, "He started it. Unless it makes America great again, in which case I started it." When asked by Colbert about Cooper calling him a five-year-old, cartoon Trump said of Cooper, "He's a dumb-dumb. He's a stupid-head, a total poopy-pants."
"That's a little immature," Colbert said, to which cartoon Trump replied, "I know you are, but what am I? Stephen, I am rubber, you're glue, I have a lawyer, and I will sue." If only it weren't hyperrealism posing as satire. Who would have thought Scandal would seem like reality TV instead of political melodrama, and Game of Thrones and The Walking Dead would feel like primers?
Throne room
April sees a ramping up of the excitement in the West Wing on Scandal, and Game of Thrones and The Walking Dead are back in much-anticipated new seasons. HBO's hit series Game of Thrones' season 6 premieres Sun., April 24, so prep the party or set the DVR. Fans are hoping that their most beloved of characters, Jon Snow (Kit Harington), presumed dead in the season 5 finale, is really alive. Because otherwise, who will prepare the world for the Great Battle when the White Walkers finally storm the wall? Yes, this whole season is going to feel very much like the general election, we guarantee it. Memes are already out there with Hillary Clinton and the caption, "Winter is coming."
Other unresolved issues on GOT include how Arya (Maisie Williams) will deal with being blind: massive. Will Daenerys Targaryen (Emilia Clarke) find herself back with the Dothraki, or what? If you missed GOT star Peter Dinklage as host of SNL on April 2, you can see the episode on demand at Hulu or NBC.com, worth the look because Dinklage is fantastic, the first time a little person has hosted the show in its history. Dinklage telling cast member Cecily Strong "Summer is coming" was a priceless throwaway.
Fear the Walking Dead, the prequel to The Walking Dead, is back for season 2 on AMC. If you missed the first season, go binge before season 2 starts on April 10. AMC describes the series: "Set in LA, the series follows a dysfunctional family composed of high school guidance counselor Madison Clark, her English teacher boyfriend Travis Manawa, her daughter Alicia, her drug-addicted son Nick, and Travis' son from a previous marriage Chris, at the onset of the zombie apocalypse. They must either revamp themselves or cling to their deep flaws as they come to terms with the impending collapse of civilization." You know, like if people have tantrums and sit out the election in November and Trump becomes president. Yes, looking at you, Susan Sarandon.
This season will be rife with scariness. The families will be leaving LA and embarking for elsewhere on Strand's (Colman Domingo) yacht. But water is so fluid. Travis (Cliff Curtis), Madison (Kim Dickens) and the remaining survivors will search for a way to keep their heads above water �" literally.
For sheer unadulterated sexiness, Outlander is back for a second season. Not only is it one of the best period pieces on the tube, but everyone is just, well, gorgeous. And the hint of gayness is just maddening. As was often true in the 18th century. We have hopes, though, we have hopes. Based on the Outlander novels, the series stars Caitriona Balfe as Claire Randall, a married WWII nurse in 1945 who gets transported back to Scotland in 1743. (Complicated non-Tardis time travel.) Once there, Claire meets up with the ever-so-dashing Highland warrior Jamie Fraser (hot Sam Heughan) and becomes embroiled in the Jacobite Uprising. The second season is 13 episodes and based on Dragonfly in Amber. Set the DVR for the premiere on April 9. Season 2 takes us to Paris, which is lovely in the springtime, as Ella Fitzgerald once sang.
One of our quirky faves, the original Netflix series Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, which also stars one of our fave gay male characters, returns with a new season on April 15. In addition to that premiere, Netflix announced other series and movies set to debut throughout April. The queer highlights include season 2 of How to Get Away With Murder, season 1 of the CW series The Messengers, and many food shows, because really, can you get enough of those? Even though they make us feel the equivalent of illiterate in the kitchen, we love them.
We also love Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. Not just for the fabulous writing, but for the two leads (the whole cast, really). Tina Fey created this show, and her deft dramedy hand has made this odd idea, which should have been incredibly dark like ABC's The Family, work well. The characters, the acting: all superb. Ellie Kemper plays Kimberly "Kimmy" Schmidt, a naive but resilient young woman who escapes from a doomsday cult and starts life over in New York as a nanny and born-again human being. Her bestie is Titus Andromedon (Tituss Burgess), a flamboyantly gay, aspiring Broadway performer. Oh-so-flaming. We love it, even if he's playing that two-for-one role of the person of color and the queer. Carol Kane, whose character was recently killed off on Gotham, is Lily, their landlady, and Jane Krakowski is Kimmy's boss (Kimmy works for her as a nanny). Fey's use of the cult and former cult members opens this show up, making it more than just a one-liner joke. It's got depth and poignancy as well as laughs. If you missed the first season, get ready to binge for both seasons. You will not regret it.
The new TBS comedy The Detour debuts April 11. This ostensible road-trip tale is the creation of the oh-so-funny and talented Samantha Bee. Need we say more? On April 12, The Mindy Project returns with all new gay stuff, because that's how they roll. Since Fox cut the comedy inexplicably, it's moved to Hulu.
On April 14, BBC America's stellar Orphan Black returns for season 4 and more lesbian teasing from Tatiana Maslany. We're also looking forward to Game of Silence, a new thriller based on a Turkish series that debuts on what's become the thriller network, NBC, on April 7 after The Voice. The bad news is the show moves to Thursdays, which will mean it conflicts with the TGIT schedule, but that's why we have DVRs. This looks edgy and compelling. It will run counter to ABC's new TGIT hit The Catch, which has everything: great plot, fabulous style, interracial cast that isn't just dropped in for show.
The best return for the spring season is Empire, which revved back up on March 30 for the second half of season 2. And omg, if you thought the mid-season finale was crazy, the follow-up is even more so. Cookie could take on every Real Housewife from Hotlanta to LA and then some. Lucious and Hakeem are still dueling. Rhonda is alive, but in mourning. The whole Lyon family is in flux, yet they cannot let go of each other. We thought we were over this show because of the long hiatus. Oh did we think wrong. For Cookie alone, not to mention her gay and not-gay sons, we couldn't stay away.
Finally, the epitome of camp was on display March 30 when James Corden (how is he not gay?) debuted his prime time special Carpool Karaoke, which we felt was made just for us. Jennifer Lopez was the star, but clips of all the fabulous previous stars were there, plus a wonderful intro and outro. Go watch at CBS.com. Oh, and all those rumors that Jenny from the Block can't sing outside the studio? Yes. She. Can.
So for ever more Trump because we'll never be free of him, gay sitcoms, thrilling dramas and hot men in cool tights, you really must stay tuned.