There we were, watching The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson as we usually do, the best show on late night, and Ferguson the most interesting and consistently funny host. As he so often does during his monologue, Ferguson referenced a story from a newspaper, and the actual story, with the newspaper's masthead, was put up on the screen.
Inevitably, these stories are from USA Today, CNN online, or one of the major news outlets. But then suddenly, there we were: Bay Area Reporter, in all our lavender glory, with a story about the gay porn awards, which Ferguson deemed "the real Oscars."
Coincidence? Possibly. Or (and here we insert some shameless self-promotion) Ferguson's people are reading us because we are watching him. Not just watching him, but appreciating him for his wit, intellect and nuance. As we have said, if he's on too late for you to stay up, then Tivo or tape him, he's that good.
Here's why we like him: He's smart, fair and funny. Unlike many late-night comedians, he doesn't go for cheap, easy humiliation. Recently, for example, he declared he simply wasn't doing jokes about Britney Spears. The night after her head-shaving meltdown when she entered rehab for the third time, he devoted his entire monologue to the issue of substance abuse. (Ferguson entered rehab 15 years ago, and hasn't had a drink since.)
This wasn't a Dr. Phil-style chastisement/lecture: it was about how some people simply can't drink or do drugs without destroying their lives and the lives of those around him. He acknowledges that he was one of those people. Throughout the entire Spears public meltdown, he has said that she was in trouble and someone should help her, rather than telling jokes about her. His humanity is just one more reason to watch him.
That, and he has his people reading the Bay Area Reporter .
It's no secret
Meanwhile, over on Letterman (Feb. 28), John McCain was proving why he will never be President. We know McCain is a certified hero. What he endured in Vietnam was horrific, and he deserves credit for his ability to withstand five years of torture in a tiger cage. Too bad he fails to understand that no one should be tortured, but that's what torture sometimes does to people — yet another reason why the US shouldn't be doing it.
That said, McCain is also still fighting the war that the US lost more than 30 years ago. Americans simply can't afford another President mired in the past.
So what did McCain have to say on Letterman? First, he announced the worst-kept secret in the country: he told an unsurprised audience he is running for President. Then he made some blundering comments about the war on Iraq.
"Americans are very frustrated, and they have every right to be," the man who would be the Republican nominee for 2008 declared. "We've wasted a lot of our most precious treasure, which is American lives."
Lest one mistake this comment for McCain taking an anti-war stance, the senator reiterated his position to Letterman that US troops must remain in Iraq rather than withdrawing. McCain's comments about wasted lives caused an immediate furor. A few weeks ago, Sen. Barack Obama, himself a candidate for President, had made a similar comment, and was forced to apologize. A few hours after McCain's remarks were aired, the Democratic National Committee demanded that McCain apologize.
Why should anyone apologize for a remark that is true? Hasn't every life lost in Iraq been a waste of humanity? If McCain has something to apologize for, it's for thinking that sending more Americans to be IED fodder in Iraq is a good idea. At least Obama doesn't subscribe to that lunacy.
If you did not see ABC's cavalcade of stories on the return of veteran reporter and former ABC evening news anchor Bob Woodruff last week, then go to ABCnews.com and watch the video of the reports. They are heart- and gut-wrenching.
Anyone who has had a moment of wavering on the issue of the war, from Hillary Clinton to Andrew Sullivan, needs to see exactly what this war is doing to our soldiers and how little attention has been paid to their agony. Woodruff experienced it first-hand. While we bandy about the term "hero" and even "journalist" these days, Woodruff is that rare commodity in today's Bush-led media: he's a heroic journalist, doing his job not for himself, but for others. On January 29, 2006, Woodward was on assignment just outside Baghdad. The convoy in which he was traveling was hit by an IED. He was standing with his head and upper-body outside of a moving tank when the bomb went off. He was wearing upper-body armor as well as a helmet.
Woodruff said, "When it actually exploded, I don't remember that. I remember spitting up blood. And I do remember immediately at that moment that I saw my body floating below me and a kind of whiteness."
Those on the scene thought Woodruff had died, but he regained consciousness briefly, and asked if he was still alive.
Part of Woodruff's skull was blown off by shrapnel, and he sustained traumatic brain injury (TBI), severe facial lacerations and other injuries. He was in a coma for 36 days.
On Feb. 27, Woodruff presented the documentary of his experiences of injury and recovery on ABC's To Iraq and Back. Also on Feb. 27, Woodruff appeared with his wife, Lee, a magazine editor, and their four children on Oprah, discussing his injury and recovery. ABC's evening newscast and Good Morning America also spent the week detailing Woodruff's experiences and those of other Iraq veterans with TBI.
Woodruff is succinct in his detailing of his experience: he's one of the lucky ones. While To Iraq and Back laid out his experience, half the documentary was also devoted to the plight of others with TBI. The Veteran's Administration now estimates that 60% of Iraq veterans have experienced some level of TBI, from severe open-skull wounds to closed-skull fractures. In the latter, the injuries often go undetected until the symptoms begin to appear. Woodruff's reports have galvanized efforts to get all injured soldiers tested for TBI, which if untreated can create massive problems in memory, anger-control and personality.
Woodruff's arduous recovery is charted in all its creepy, graphic detail. He knows how lucky he is, he says it repeatedly. He had money, superb medical care, a loving wife and stupendous kids who stood by him and helped him recover. Even though his brain was damaged in the places where language and memory receptors lie, he was able to retrain his brain and relearn how to talk and read.
"I couldn't remember my two young daughters," Woodruff said, his eyes glittering with unshed tears. "Not their names, but their existence." Woodruff and his wife have four children: twin six-year-old daughters, and a 13-year-old daughter and 15-year-old son.
The six-year-olds help him with words, occasionally frustrated that Daddy doesn't get what they are repeating so patiently. The scenes of this are heart-rending, even though we know he has recovered about 85% of his former abilities. We witness Woodruff, always wearing a helmet to protect his head where the skull was removed, in his home looking at flashcards of common objects (scissors, screwdrivers), unable to remember what they are. Then he goes to the hospitals where men and women like himself are recovering, or not recovering.
Notes the wife of one young man who has yet to wake up from the coma he has been in for weeks: "We hear about how many people are killed every day, but we never hear about the injured. This is what happens with the injured, they just disappear. No one knows about how we are suffering."
More than 25,000 soldiers have been injured thus far in Iraq in war-related injuries, according to the Pentagon. Of those injured, more than 60% have suffered permanently disabling injury, according to the Pentagon and Veteran's Administration. Doctors at the much-criticized Walter Reed Medical Center assert that "polytrauma" — more than one severe injury — is the norm among the soldiers they treat.
In a press conference, Woodruff was asked if he would return to Iraq as a reporter. ABC News President David Westin answered for him. "I will not send him," said Westin. "It just would not make sense. He's more vulnerable than he was before. It would be the height of recklessness, from my point of view, to allow Bob Woodruff to go back to Iraq."
Woodruff doesn't need to return to Iraq. The story that he has told, of his own injury and those of veterans, may very well be his most important story. Woodruff, with his rugged good looks now somewhat marred by the shrapnel wounds on his face, may have finally got the attention of America about just how damaging this war has been to so many.
Perhaps McCain should take a look at Woodruff's story, as he seems to have forgotten what the wounds of war really look like, even though he sustained so many himself. How dare any of these folks in Washington think that sending more troops is anything but murder?
Bigot watch
Speaking of conservatives who don't know which end is up, there was a remarkable lack of attention paid to Ann Coulter last week when she spoke at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC). We were surprised when we heard nothing on the networks about conservative pundit Coulter calling former senator and Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards a faggot.
Yes, she called him a faggot. You can watch the video at The Nation or Crooks and Liars websites. She said, "I was going to have a few comments on the other Democratic presidential candidate, John Edwards, but it turns out you have to go into rehab if you use the word faggot."
Let's make a note, now. When Isaiah Washington called his fellow Grey's Anatomy castmate T.R. Knight, who actually is gay, a faggot, he was nearly kicked off the show, ABC apologized and forced Washington to apologize, and he was sent to rehab (albeit for just a week). When NBA star Tim Hardaway made homophobic references to fellow NBA star John Amaechi, who actually is gay (and gorgeous), the NBA apologized, forced Hardaway to apologize, and refused to allow him to play in the All-Stars game.
Rudy Giuliani, who is courting the gay vote if sotto voce, was in attendance when Coulter spoke. So was McCain. So was Mitt Romney, whom she endorsed (one more reason not to vote for him) and who introduced her, "I am happy to hear that after you hear from me, you will hear from Ann Coulter. That is a good thing. Oh, yeah!"
Did we hear any disavowals of her comments from anyone on the right that night? No. Did we see a piece about it on Nightline, like we did about Maureen Dowd's column on Geffen and the Clintons? No. We are supposed to report on TV. But sometimes we have to report on what's not on TV. And wonder, why not?
Sure, Coulter is an agent provocateur: it's her job. But when you watch the video, you will hear no boos or even polite "oohs." You will hear uproarious laughter and applause.
Is John Edwards a closet queer? No, we would have found that out long ago if he were. So what Coulter means is that her constituency, the right, should think of him as a promoter of the "homosexual agenda" and as fey because he wants to bring the troops home now.
Coulter was at the forefront of the Swiftboat movement against John Kerry in 2004. She promulgated the fiction that he was a coward and a liar about his military service on every TV talk show. Now John Edwards is, in her words, a faggot.
We know what the swiftboating did to Kerry. All we can say is, stay tuned.