Ring ring! Rrring! The insistent telephone bell startles Out There out of a pleasant midsummer reverie. OK, we were napping. But a familiar voice is on the line.
"Hullo darling, I just rung you up because I heard that you and your esteemed media outlet have moved your office right back into the hood!"
Yes, that's right, dear buddy. It was fun while it lasted, but to be perfectly honest, we're so glad to be out of our top-floor digs in the Financial District. True, the view from our surreal aerie on the 17th floor was pretty spectacular, but we discovered that altitude brings attitude. It's far better for us to have our head out of the clouds and our feet back on the ground (well, the second floor). And we're much happier to be back in the neighborhood (well, Gough at Market). Feels closer to the people somehow.
"What was the vista from your desk in the sky like, anyway?"
Pretty much a full-frontal view of the Chevron buildings. You know, it's interesting, you'd think there'd be some sort of a Chevron logo emblazoned upon at least one of their skyscrapers, branding being so important in the corporate world. But no, nothing, nada. As if an oil company could be construed as unpopular!
Also, we had a nice oblique side-view of the St. Regis hotel and condominium complex. That's where ex-mayor and power-broker-for-all-time Willie Brown lives. Now he's an officially registered corporate lobbyist and a San Francisco Chronicle columnist! Now that's what we call one-stop shopping!
"You mean, you think he uses his column to benefit his or his clients' own interests? But that would be unethical!"
Let us put it this way: you know how his column always includes an anecdote where some cab driver passes along a clever bon mot? Willie Brown doesn't take cabs! He has a car-and-driver service. But it's a convenient delivery device, no?
"The wheels of power require grease. But anyway, what's hopping in the arts world these days?"
Darling, if April is the cruelest month, then August is the sweetest gossamer kiss. The torrent of press releases and opening nights slows to a subtle golden trickle. It's ambient music to an arts editor's ears. Now don't get us wrong, there's still plenty of cultural product out there that's well worth sampling. Off the top of our head: Filmmaker Richard Linklater's "Boyhood" is in movie theaters, actor-musician Hershey Felder's "Monsieur Chopin" just opened at Berkeley Rep, San Francisco Symphony 's "West Side Story" on CD is a recording for the ages. These are a few of our favorite things. Or we savor the simple pleasure of sitting in Golden Gate Park, reading a book. A book, champ: It's a thing with pages. And we'll enjoy it while it lasts. Because the cultural tsunami of the September arts season is just a shout away. That shout goes, "Copy!"
"Well, it's been lovely catching up with you. You're a real 'people person,' do you know that? Cat people, that is."
Hey, call us up anytime, our lines are always open. Dig our new smartphone? It's the latest thing. It even has a detachable earpiece!
Buddy System
A new coffee-table book from Taschen, "My Buddy. World War II Laid Bare," is a collection of found photographs that show real-live soldiers from history in various states of undress. Let's go to the release.
"Every harrowing day for a serviceman during WWII was potentially his last. To help bolster troops against the horrors of combat, commanders encouraged them to form tight 'buddy' relationships for emotional support. Many war buddies, together every moment and depending on each other to survive, formed intimate friendships. When they weren't fighting side by side, they relaxed together, discharging tension in boisterous - sometimes naked - play. The full extent of nude horseplay among men during WWII can't be known, as cameras were rare and film hard to process, but some men did document this unprecedented male bonding in small, anonymous photos mostly kept hidden away until their deaths.
"?L.A. photographer Michael Stokes has spent years searching out these photos and building an archive of over 500 images. His collection includes soldiers and sailors from Australia, England, France, Italy, Poland, Russia, and the USA, cavorting on the sand in the South Pacific, shivering in the snow of Eastern Europe, posing solo in the barracks, and in great happy groups just about everywhere. These images show men barely out of boyhood, at their physical peak, responding to the reality of battle by living each day to the fullest - a side of the war never before made public."
Editor Dian Hanson said, "As I sought to divide these photos by nationality I found it was hopeless unless uniforms, weapons or vehicles were included. English, Australian, Russian and American: All young soldiers, sailors, airmen and Marines look the same naked and grinning."
Full Bore
Finally, here is our favorite press release of the summer. "Annual Boring Conference Announces Line-Up. Those of a nervous disposition should consider themselves warned under section 49, paragraph 2 of the Health and Safety Act.
"London, England, 2014: The Boring Conference, the annual event devoted to an agonised acceptance of the mundane, will take place this Saturday at Conway Hall, 25 Red Lion Square, London WC1R 4RL. The event will start at 10 a.m.
"James Ward, conference organiser, said: 'Many will of course recognize the date as the culmination of Week of Solidarity with the People of Non-Self-Governing Territories. I had hoped to avoid this unfortunate clash, but I expect that some will feel that they've had their fill of non-self-governing events by the end of the week and will attend nonetheless.'??
"Topics covered this year will include:? Domestic Ink Jet Printers c.1999;? Episodes of British Game Show You Bet;? German Film Titles; ?Ice Cream Van Chimes; ?Pothole Gardening; ?How to Cook Elaborate Meals with the Equipment Found in Hotel Bedrooms;? Similarities between 198 of the World's National Anthems;? Comic Sans.
"Layout of the hall will be the classic 'Balmoral' arrangement: Two blocks of seats, arranged in rows, with an aisle down the centre.? A limited number of spaces will be available for media. These will be allocated on a first-come, first-served basis, unless, of course, a better subsequent offer is made."