Mala Kumar's 'What It Meant to Survive' - Grappling with survivor's guilt & finding love

  • by Laura Moreno
  • Saturday December 14, 2024
Share this Post:
Author Mala Kumar
Author Mala Kumar

"What it Meant to Survive" by Mala Kumar is an insightful novel that transcends class, race, religion, language, and nationality to find love and healing. It is a powerful work and a must-read for people overcoming post-traumatic stress, and survivor's guilt in particular.

Inspired by the author's own personal experience during her senior year at Virginia Tech University, the novel poignantly illustrates the long-term social and emotional effects of such an event in a person's life, and how she overcomes the effects. Kumar previously published the novel "The Paths of Marriage" (2014).

In many ways, the most difficult piece of the puzzle was recognizing the toll the events had taken on her. Years later, when Ramya begins to experience memory loss, she has no idea that it may be related to a shooting massacre. The young protagonist realizes she must grapple with survivor's guilt despite having long believed the murders had a negligible impact on her; after all, she was not present during the shooting.

But she was not altogether absent. Ramya had, in fact, just left the exact room where the shooting would take place just 20 minutes later, causing a huge commotion that she witnessed from the parking lot.

It didn't help that her parents had forced her to attend that university, pushing her into chronic depression that she was not able to carry out her own plans for her education.

Author Mala Kumar at a rtecent Saints & Sinners Literary Festival in New Orleans  

Finding real love on Tinder
A few pages in, despite the potential risk, the protagonist takes a chance and meets someone very special on Tinder. The story is told alternately from each woman's perspective, allowing us to see the dance Juliet does behind the scenes with her Tinder profile. She at first lists that she is hetero, then later adds that she wants to meet women, but only for friendship. It turns out she needn't have worried.

When Ramya and Juliet finally meet up in person, they hit it off right from the start despite their many differences. Ramya is an American with roots in India, temporarily on assignment in Ghana as part of her job with the UN. Juliet, a Nigerian, and has a flair for fashion design, but has yet to secure a job in Ghana, a country that is less prosperous but also far less homophobic than her native Nigeria. For the moment, she is struggling financially.

Actually, "What it Meant to Survive" incorporates technology into the story right from the opening page. Chapter headings include three computer icons indicating: (1) which character is narrating the chapter, (2) the date, and (3) the country location. This innovation is very helpful in clueing the reader in on shifting points of view and setting changes since the novel is set in Ghana, Nigeria, Dubai, and the US.

The novel includes occasional text messages written in computer-speak, leaving me scrambling for definitions of some of the more obscure (to me) abbreviations.

Here's the problem
In time, the couple decides to begin a new life together in New York City, where they can live freely as a couple.

But one thing threatens their plan. In the course of their relationship, the two women realize they have something very important in common stemming from past trauma. For Ramya, it's nightmares and occasional bouts of memory loss. And Juliet periodically struggles with time-lapse episodes. For her to be able to get through the immigration process, she will need to come to terms with its root causes.

How the pair successfully work through the difficulties will keep readers engrossed in this heartfelt international page-turner.

"What it Meant to Survive" fits into other genres, too, including self-help literature, migrant literature, and the new genre of hi-tech literature with a touch of surrealism as the author makes peace with all that has happened.

An excerpt:
"One reason she loved Africa was because so much of its land was unlike anywhere else on earth; Ramya felt like she was unlike any other person on earth. Yet Ramya had defaulted to seeking out girlfriends with similar levels of education or professional experience, characteristics that were at best, irrelevant.

"The most horrible day had set Ramya apart from most of those people. None of her exes had been through anything that difficult. Juliet was different. Juliet had had a difficult life and had somehow emerged stronger. Ramya didn't need a partner who lectured her to stay positive when faced with adversity. Ramya needed someone who had lived through adversity themselves and stayed positive. She needed someone who could empathize with her emotional baggage. She needed someone like Juliet."

'What It Meant to Survive' by Mala Kumar, Bywater Books, $21.95.
www.bywaterbooks.com
www.malakumar.com


Never miss a story! Keep up to date on the latest news, arts, politics, entertainment, and nightlife.
Sign up for the Bay Area Reporter's free weekday email newsletter. You'll receive our newsletters and special offers from our community partners.

Support California's largest LGBTQ newsroom. Your one-time, monthly, or annual contribution advocates for LGBTQ communities. Amplify a trusted voice providing news, information, and cultural coverage to all members of our community, regardless of their ability to pay -- Donate today!