The Rainbow Comes and Goes: A Mother and Son on Life, Love, and Loss, by Anderson Cooper & Gloria Vanderbilt; Harper, $27.99
When one glances at the cover of this new book of intimate correspondence, one is drawn not just to the strikingly handsome 48-year-old CNN and CBS journalist Anderson Cooper, but to the woman who looks more like his only slightly older sister, rather than his 92-year-old mother. Artist, writer, and designer Gloria Vanderbilt is a living billboard for the miracles of plastic surgery, and while one of this memoir's themes is that money doesn't guarantee you happiness, based on her appearance, it can help you look fabulous. Last year Vanderbilt almost died of influenza and asthma, and although Anderson felt he had a close relationship with his mother, he recognized he barely knew her. So he initiated a yearlong email conversation with perhaps his toughest interview, asking Gloria questions about her childhood, adult life, and people she knew, as well as difficult issues (i.e., death), to change their relationship "so that nothing would be left unsaid." The book focuses primarily on Gloria's life, and longevity aside, she has led a fascinating albeit intermittently sad existence. How some of these events impacted Anderson is also explored (though minimally, as he presents little autobiographical material) with an intriguing juxtaposition between his realistic reporter's darker outlook and her unwavering optimism bordering on fantasy.
Gloria was born in 1924, heir to the wealthy shipping and railroad empire of her ancestor, Cornelius Vanderbilt, through her alcoholic father Reginald, who died when she was 15 months old. Her beautiful mother Gloria was 18 when she gave birth to little Gloria. An aspiring actress, widowed at 21, she moved with Gloria to Paris. Gloria was raised by her German governess nicknamed Dodo and maternal grandmother Naney, both of whom schemed to move Gloria back to New York to live with her Vanderbilt relatives. This led to a famous bitter custody battle when Gloria was 10, which received sensational media coverage. Towards the end of the trial, it was secretly revealed that Gloria's mother had a lesbian relationship, so Gloria's Aunt Gertrude won custody, more or less raising her. After dating actor Errol Flynn and Howard Hughes (and years later, Brando and Sinatra) to escape her family's domination, at age 17 she married Pasquale diCicco, a Hollywood agent, despite his being suspected of having killed his first wife. Abused, Gloria eventually left him, and at 21 she married the renowned orchestra conductor 40-years-older Leopold Stokowski, with whom she had two sons, Stan and Chris (long alienated). That union ended in 1955, and she immediately wed film director Sidney Lumet, but this relationship eventually floundered.
She married Wyatt Cooper, an author and screenwriter originally from Mississippi, in 1963. Finally happily partnered, they had two sons: Carter, and at age 43, Anderson. Wyatt would die during heart surgery at age 50 in 1978 when Anderson was 10. During this period Gloria began her own fabric-design business leading to her famous designer jeans, her face instantly recognizable through her television commercials and talk show appearances. In 1988, Carter, age 23, jumped to his death off the 14th-floor ledge of his family's Manhattan apartment building, a ghastly horror with Gloria unsuccessfully begging him to come inside.
The usually guarded Anderson does open up a bit, responding to Gloria's revelations, especially her confession that she wasn't a great parent, even confiding, "I wish it would have been me who died instead of your father." He was afraid to tell her he was gay, despite knowing she had many gay friends, yet unsure how she would react due to rumors his grandmother had been a lesbian. Gloria confessed that she suspected he was gay because "all your friends were gay." She also admits that her views on sexuality have changed through the years and is not afraid to tell Anderson candidly to his obvious discomfort that one of her past boyfriends is "the Nijinsky of cunnilingus." But aside from this brief discussion, Anderson's gayness and even his longtime boyfriend are not mentioned. Anderson is forthcoming, however, about the devastating impact his father's early death and his brother's suicide had on his life: "I felt compelled to go to places in the world where there was suffering and loss, where the pain outside would match the pain I was feeling inside. I wasn't sure I could survive, and I wanted to learn from others how they were surviving."
Gloria endured a chaotic, unstable childhood, perhaps explaining her unconventional motherhood. Despite the tragedies in her life and some regrets (especially estrangement from her mother, meeting only once before she died, and wishing she had talked with her more), she shares honest, intelligent "life lessons" on family, death, forgiveness, fame, and perseverance. Many of her musings seem cathartic, and one senses a new emotional intimacy between mother and son. For LGBT people, Rainbow could be an ideal Mother's/Father's Day gift, with the opening, "Let's get to know each other better." The title derives from a Wadsworth poem, meaning enjoy life while it lasts. Affectionate, heartfelt, inspirational, and sometimes hilarious, the book's message is that it is never too late to cultivate a new relationship with your family and break down those walls of silence.