Welcome to Seattle, northern travelers! The Pacific Northwest welcomes you with arms wide, and beards bushy. There's no better city for a cozy getaway: it's close, it's walkable, and the locals couldn't be more accommodating to visitors.
You can visit by plane (we like Alaska Air for the SFO to SEA trip), but if you're not in a hurry, it's a pleasant two or three-day drive. Your trip up the I-5 will take you through Redding and across Shasta Lake, where the views are tremendous and the hotels are adorably woodsy. You should book a hotel in advance during tourism season, but if you're traveling during off-months (fall and spring) you can get away with using Priceline on your phone to find nearby deals whenever you feel like stopping. Watch out for hotels that allow smoking, lest you be stuck in a smelly room.
Once you cross the border into Oregon, you'll find yourself in the Cascade-Siskiyou National Park, where you can take a little diversion to hike the Soda Mountain Wilderness. If you've got a full day to spend in Oregon, divert up Route 62 to the gorgeous Crater Lake National Park, and enjoy a lovely lunch at Crater Lake Lodge as you gaze out over the pristine water. Beware of winter storms that can render the roads treacherous, and of deer that may leap at your car at any time of year.
Further up the 5, Portland offers a little preview of the Seattle pleasures that lie just a few hours north. Visit Voodoo Doughnut for provisions, as a box of a dozen robust snacks from this place will feed a family of four for a week. While in Portland, swing by Ground Kontrol, a classic video arcade with an acceptable selection of beers and bar food. Visit on Monday for Metal Night, or check out Darcelle XV, a classic drag palace.
Once you finally make your way up to Seattle, you have a choice to make: to do it like a tourist or like a local. There's no shame in being a kitschy tourist! Just like San Francisco, some of Seattle's finest attractions are the most obvious.
Head up to the top of the Space Needle for an amazing view, and try to time your visit to an hour before sunset (which is around 4pm in the winter) so you can see the sun go down. Ride the ridiculous monorail.
Gawk at fish-tossers at the Pike Place Market. Take a duck tour. Do it all and get it out of your system. Just don't visit the country's oldest Starbucks, because you have better things to do with your time than wait half an hour for unremarkable coffee.
If you'd like to get off the beaten tourist path, take a trip up to Fremont, the Berkeley of the PNW. This Seattle neighborhood has officially designated itself "the center of the known universe," and who are we to say otherwise?
Visit the troll under the bridge, a weird concrete sculpture; and hang out by the giant Lenin statue. A cluster of pleasant cafes, restaurants, and trinket shops may keep you busy for an hour or two around 34th Street and Fremont Ave.
Seattle's gay history goes way back: Pioneer Square was known as "Fairyville" back in the 1920s, and featured the only west coast bar that allowed same-sex dancing. There was a drag cabaret called The Garden of Allah in the '40s and '50s, and a court system like San Francisco's that dates back to the '70s. The city also has a fairly robust trans community, with a group called The Gender Justice League hosting events, forums, and pride parties.
Surprisingly, there's no LGBT center, but the Gay City Health Project can take care of your HIV and STI testing.
Seattle's gay ghetto is only gay-ish: trudge up to Capitol Hill and you'll see gays capering about, but it's no Castro or West Hollywood. The few gay bars are outnumbered by straight bars, so you have two options: either confine yourself to a few queer watering holes, or suck it up and mingle with the breeders.
Our favorite breeder bars include the divey Montana, where they make ginger beer from scratch; and Hopvine, which has excellent food and an astounding variety of local seasonal beers. Definitely get a BeeHaven mead if it's in season. Also worth a visit is The Twilight Exit, which has yummy snacks (tater tots!) along with board games and pinball to keep you occupied.
If you're in the mood for something queer, check out The Cuff Complex for a leather crowd. Friendly and inclusive, The Cuff offers everything from bondage demonstrations to karaoke to darts to fried food. Chop Suey hosts SF's Bootie party when travel north, and has excellent dancing throughout the week."
But you might be taken aback if you wander into The Eagle: unlike other bars of that name, Seattle's Eagle is less gear-and-grizzle and just sort of generally hipster-divey. Every third Friday is a party called Dickslap, which is a must-attend.
And on fourth Saturdays is Insert Coin, a queer video game party with playable consoles. But if you're looking for hardcore rubber, leather, pups, or rope, try the Cuff Complex, or fetish night at CC Attle's.
If the weather's warm and dry, head over to Pony to enjoy some time on the patio. Indoors, you'll find gay porn projected on the wall, and occasionally karaoke.
Or head over to Diesel, where bears congregate and the drinks are strong enough to tranquilize the burliest wildlife. R Place has dancing, drag, and the occasional wet underwear contest; and Neighbors can happily accommodate bachelorette parties.
Down the street, Purr is a little slice of West Hollywood with trendy outfits and slick video monitors. Lesbians will want to check out Wildrose, which has one of the best jukeboxes in town.
photo: Matt Baume
Just west of Capitol Hill, there are two hotspots of queer nightlife, located right next to each other. Rebar has been hosting theater, poetry slams, theme nights and dance events for decades; Flammable, their Sunday night house music event, has run for 20 years.
Recently opened in the same complex of buildings, Kremwerk's a quirky underground space that you can count on for strange performances and music you've never heard before.
You have two options for making more intimate friends: Steamworks Seattle and Club Z Gay Baths. Like most Steamworks establishments, Seattle's is cozy and intimate and clean (relatively speaking) with the usual steam rooms and lockers and music. Club Z is a bit more old-fashioned, and very large; three stories, with a maze and a mixed crowd.
photo: Matt Baume
There's hiking aplenty just outside the city, and although a few trails are bus-accessible, you'll need a car to get to most of them. Local favorites include Deception Pass, Snoqualmie Falls, Tiger Mountain or Little Si. Check road conditions ahead of time in the winter.
And if you just want to take a nice nature stroll in the city without having to drive too far, linger amongst the trees along Lake Washington Blvd, or the views of the city from Beacon Hill.
After a few days in Seattle, you might forget you've even left San Francisco: it's creative, damp, hilly, and politically leftish. The only difference is that the rent is several orders of magnitude cheaper. Don't all move there at once.
Matt Baume is a writer and photographer living in Seattle. Follow him at @mattbaume or at www.mattbaume.com