Is your Valentine tired of chocolates and flowers? Does sipping champagne with a strawberry dropped in a fluted glass induce an eye-rolling response?
Put a little retro spice in your love life this year. Take a tip from a 1973 ad in the Bay Area Reporter for A Taste of Leather. Their Valentine's Day Specials include "Genuine Imitation Mink" posing briefs, at the time a mere $15! The Peter Rabbit version, in "Passion Pit Red" might clash with your bedroom d�cor, but it certainly sends a clear message; lust trumps taste every time.
Lockets and charms may have their place for the twink set, but nothing says "seriously bonded" more than a studded leather wrist band. Break out the KISS eight-track tapes, snap this baby on your date, and you'll be sure to win his or her heart.
And for later in your romantic interlude? The "Swinger Cock Ring" with "detachable three-ounce pearl of San Francisco titallator" blends kink with style. It's perfect for the formal orgy in your schedule.
Oh, l'amour. Face it. If it came in a box, we'd all get laid.