Obituary: Paul Frederick Miller

by BAR staff

Paul Frederick Miller
Paul Frederick Miller  

November 6 1953 — October 25, 2018
Paul Miller, a longtime HIV survivor and community activist, died Thursday, October 25, 2018 of complications following surgery. He was 64 and had lived in San Francisco since 1973.

Mr. Miller was born in Genesco, Illinois and moved to Naperville as a young child. He attended Southern Illinois University in Carbondale for two years.

He was employed at Bank of America, and then in realty management, before joining the staff of the Stop AIDS Project in 1998. During his seven years at Stop AIDS, he "worked tirelessly to prevent HIV transmission among all gay, bisexual, and transgender men in San Francisco. Paul was a gifted, charismatic, sex-positive leader whose vision and commitment was about the health of the community and all of us affected by the HIV epidemic," said Steve Abbott, former board member of Stop AIDS Project, which merged seven years ago with the San Francisco AIDS Foundation.

David Evans, current interim executive director of Project Inform and former program director at the Stop AIDS Project, recalled that "during the early 2000s when the president and Congress were literally trying to shut us down, Paul's steadiness and kindness were a balm for all of us during that difficult time. He will be sorely missed."

B.J. Stiles, who was interim executive director of Stop AIDS in 2007-08, underscored that Mr. Miller was a hands-on colleague who never hesitated to lead workshops and forums, and who adored the nonprofit's Geezer Balls.

All who knew Mr. Miller remember his love of plants, hummingbirds, and flowers. "And he was treasured for his wit and humor. Paul always had at least one joke to brighten every occasion," said Stiles.

Mr. Miller's partner, Vincent Rossi, died in 1995.

Mr. Miller is survived by his father, Robert L. Miller; seven siblings: Amy, Nora, Rob, Steve, John, Ted, and Meg. His mother, Sally H. Miller, predeceased him in 1997. Mr. Miller's grandparents were Frederick and Nora Miller; and Margaret and Charles Harris.

A memorial gathering is planned for Saturday, November 3, at 1 p.m. at the National AIDS Memorial Grove in Golden Gate Park. He was the recipient of the grove's Community Service Award in 2003, recognizing his leadership and accomplishments in collaborative, multicultural community-based organizing.


  • ElaineKay, 2018-10-31 21:39:55

    Bless his heart for all the hard work and dedication for the community.

  • Matthew Welpott, 2018-11-02 13:03:01

    I was very sorry to hear of Paul’s passing. I knew Paul for more than 30 years, and I remember when he worked at the Stop AIDS Project and also as a property manager (I had an apartment rental from his agency). I’m sure we will all miss his tremendous "sharp" sense of humor.

  • Anonymous, 2019-09-11 17:05:02

    Paul was my friend since we met when we were 7. We were always together.....we both went to San Francisco 1978 and had the time of our lives. I loved Paul like no other human being. Due to a personal trauma on my end I lost touch with Paul in 2007. He hosted an art exhibition of my work for a benefit for STOPAIDS in 2006. Finally I have found him here and I’m devastated....I so wanted to see him have our laughs and sadness. Dear true and loving will ALWAYS be in my heart.

  • Anonymous, 2019-09-11 17:26:14

    I first met Paul when we were 7 years old. We became the best of friends. I would roar with laughter over Paul’s antics and jokes. We were seldom apart. We were the best of friends. I was so lucky to have him. We stayed close throughout the years. In 1978 we moved to San Francisco and had the time of our lives. We supported each other while our mutual friends died. Nevertheless we stayed optimistic. I was with Paul when we said goodbye to Vinnie in 1995. Paul loved Vinnie so much. In 2006 Paul hosted an art exhibition of my work as a benefit for STOPAIDS. Sadly that was the last time I saw him. I struggled with meth addiction and lost contact with my beloved friend. I’ve been searching for him for some time....and sadly I find my dear friend here. The last tragedy in my life from AIDS. A part of me is gone. Those years are gone. My best friend is gone. We will never share a laugh, a cigarette, a guy...dear friend I love you so much. I was hoping we could be together again. I will ove you always...I dream about you at times and I will cry over the photos I have of us together. I love you Paul like no other human being

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