Former SF supe aide Tom Cooper dies in New York

Tom Cooper, a gay man who once worked for former San Francisco supervisor Annemarie Conroy before launching a successful real estate career in New York City, died December 26. He was 56.

Mr. Cooper apparently died by suicide after jumping to his death from his apartment building on New York City's Upper East Side, according to media reports. Those reports also stated that police said he left a note, though its contents were not made public.

Mr. Cooper had been a licensed associate real estate broker and top sales agent at the Douglas Elliman firm since about 2002. He had worked with buyers and sellers of Manhattan condominiums, coops, and townhouses, according to his LinkedIn page, and focused on luxury residential properties.

According to the Messenger, Mr. Cooper was the closing agent on an $18.5 million Greenwich Village brownstone in November.

In a January 2 phone interview with the Bay Area Reporter, Conroy said she had stayed in touch with her former aide and had recently texted him.

"He was focused, he was smart, he was kind," Conroy said. "He had tremendous wit."

Mr. Cooper had worked for Conroy during her two and a half years on the board. She had been appointed by her godfather, former mayor Frank Jordan, and served from April 6, 1992 until January 8, 1995, according to an online list of former supervisors. Conroy is now an assistant U.S. attorney.

Mr. Cooper attended community meetings on behalf of Ms. Conroy and assisted with legislative work, she said.

His death, she said, "left a huge void in a lot of people."

Conroy recalled a time when lesbian then-supervisor Roberta Achtenberg stopped by her office to share the good news that she had just been invited to speak at the Democratic National Convention. Conroy's office was a popular gathering spot because of Mr. Cooper, she recalled.

"A few people were saying, 'what are you going to say?' And Tom said, 'Forget what are you going to say. What are you going to wear?'" Conroy said.

Achtenberg, reached by phone, laughed at the story. "That's probably true," she said. "That was the thing I was most worried about as well."

Achtenberg said that she was sorry to hear the news of Mr. Cooper's passing.

"He was a completely delightful person," she said.

Mr. Cooper was an avid follower of news about the British royal family, so much so that he once joked in the City Hall press box with reporters that, as the Board of Supervisors was debating some piece of legislation, "We have two royal marriages on the rocks," Conroy said. Mr. Cooper was referring to the marriages of now-King Charles and the late Princess Diana and Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson, both of whom went through public separations in 1992.

Mary Lasher worked with Mr. Cooper in Conroy's office as the supervisor's other legislative aide. She recalled the bustling office as people wanted to hear Mr. Cooper's jokes.

"Department heads would call our office to hear his jokes," Lasher, now senior director of communications at SAP, said in a phone interview.

Lasher, a straight ally, said Mr. Cooper was in her wedding and her son's godfather. She, too, kept in touch with Mr. Cooper.

She recalled that Mr. Cooper had just come out as gay in the early 1990s.

"He loved being gay," she said. "He was a bon vivant — he embraced all of what life had to offer. He was brilliant.

"He had a passion and zest for life and he commanded a room," Lasher added.

She said that after Mr. Cooper left City Hall, he met with a career coach to determine his next steps and was told the real estate profession would be a good fit for him.

Bevan Dufty, a gay man and BART board president, is a former San Francisco supervisor who also had other jobs at City Hall over the years and knew Mr. Cooper.

"He had the greatest smile and personified himself as someone who could disagree without being disagreeable," Dufty wrote in a text message.