Long before the LGBT movement had built its political strength and influence, Marion Abdullah was quietly making her own waves simply by living her life.
The New York native joined the Women's Army Corps of the United States military, got married, had children, started working, and moved to the Bay Area in 1970 before she came to terms with the fact that she was not heterosexual. But once she came out, she said, "Now I'm just out to whoever. I don't run around saying, 'I'm gay', but I don't hide it. I'm an out lesbian activist. I try to stay active."
Abdullah, 69, is a grand marshal of this year's Pride Parade in recognition of her pioneering efforts and decades of community service. She will ride in this year's parade in front of the motorized cable car carrying elders from New Leaf: Services for Our Community, while seniors who are able to walk will surround her vehicle on foot.
"I asked for the New Leaf cable car to be behind me and [Pride] said, 'No problem.' I'll be in the convertible and they'll be right behind me, and there will also be some elders beside me. I'm looking forward to it," Abdullah said of her big day along Market Street on Sunday, June 25.
It has been a long road �" full of obstacles and achievements �" to reach this place.
Though Abdullah may have known she was a gay early in life, she said, "I didn't want to be gay, I'll put it that way. I tried all different things to change me, like getting married and having kids and that kind of stuff."
While in the military, she witnessed "very brutal antigay harassment �" they would discharge people, give them bad conduct." After Abdullah received an honorable discharge, she moved to the Bay Area, "but not for the gay scene. I just wanted to be in California, for some reason."
It took some time for her to come out as gay. She separated from her husband, though he eventually moved out here to be closer to his family members.
"He knew I was a lesbian," said Abdullah. "It didn't bother him."
Coming out to her children was more difficult, she said, and can be a challenge to her parental relationships even today.
Then, in the 1980s she experienced sexual and anti-gay harassment at her job in San Francisco, in an environment so severe that she had to stop going to work.
"I was in a lot of fear," she said. "I reported the incidents and my boss kept telling me if I gave names he would stop it. But it got worse. My life was threatened."
Though many people kept quiet about such incidents in the times before widespread LGBT protections, Abdullah took her company to court and reached a settlement. She used some of that money to travel to Europe.
Last year, Abdullah was diagnosed with breast cancer, and the surgery and chemotherapy treatments put her out of commission for a while. Still, she used her illness as an opportunity, becoming active in the LGBT committee of the American Cancer Society, and helping to organize the first LGBT-focused cancer conference in San Francisco, scheduled for this fall.
"What we're doing is working on having an informational conference in conjunction with the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association. The part I'm working on is the community focus on cancer," said Abdullah of the upcoming conference, held in San Francisco from October 11-14. "We're going to have a survivors' panel, caregivers' workshops, a transgender panel, and all the latest information. It's free, and it's good information for people to have, so I hope to get the word out."
Abdullah explained her relentless commitment to causes as her being "a sort of behind-the-scenes worker." Even when she was sick at home, she said, she could remain involved because, "I was always on the phone."
Abdullah began volunteering with San Francisco's Women's Building in the 1970s. One thing led to another, she said, as people she met there would ask her to help out on their various projects.
Abdullah, who is mixed race, soon began volunteering for Asian and Pacific Islander community events, and later, worked on a conference for lesbians of color. Today she is member of an over-40 African American lesbian group, works with the Asian Pacific Lesbian Network, and has volunteered for the AIDS Walk and "Making Strides" breast cancer walk. She also has donated time to the GLBT Historical Society and PFLAG, and is active with New Leaf's Outreach to Elders Program, Old Lesbians Organized for Change, and Lavender Seniors of the East Bay.
Abdullah self-identifies as "old," something that she embraces both with pride and with matter-of-fact acceptance. "I'm old," she said. "I say I'm old, because I am."
As an older person in the community, she said, elder activism is important to her, and her peers help to inspire her to make change.
"The LGBT community has very little, and the seniors have nothing, and it's not right," she said. "We need more money in the senior community. We're tired of fighting to get all that stuff; we've been fighting a long time just to get basic rights."
Abdullah said much of the LGBT community is unaware of its elder members, whose stories can be inspiring or tragic depending on whether they are involved and included in the community.
One of her elder outreach groups, she said, began visiting a closeted Bay Area man whose much younger live-in partner was clearly stealing from his home.
"They got there one day and saw people moving all kinds of big stuff out of the house," she said, adding that the group contacted the authorities on the elderly man's behalf.
Other times, she has known people who died without wills, and their family members have swept in to clear out their homes without regard for the life partner left behind.
"These are not isolated cases," she said.
Like many in the elder LGBT community, Abdullah is single, she said, though she knows a few long-term couples where both members are still living, and one recent couple that got together when both partners were both about 80 years old. Unfortunately, she noted, one of the partners just got sick.
"It's too bad," she said, "because it was so cute."
For elders, relying on a community network becomes even more important, she said, but younger community members often forget that there are others who are not easily visible and who want to remain involved.
"In our LGBT community I notice if you're not young and vibrant you aren't considered part of the community any longer," she added. "Many of us would love to go to events, but they don't make hem accessible for us, or it's hard to get there because of transportation. A lot of elders have no way to get around. We have to keep asking for things, but I think we shouldn't have to ask all the time. They know we exist. We're still here. We haven't gone anywhere."
It's this kind of fierce message that has led several organizations to recognize Abdullah. In 2002, she was a winner of a Pat Bond Memorial Old Dyke Award. Recently, she was presented the first Phoenix Award from the Asian Pacific Islander and Queer Transgender Coalition. She brings her message of inclusion to the Dyke March on Saturday, June 24, and says she can't wait to bring her fellow seniors all the recognition they deserve at this year's Pride Parade.
"I'm very honored. I'm really, truly honored," she said of being a parade grand marshal. "I'm so proud."