Hung & Hungarian
by John F. Karr
Cock Consciousness! It's swelling evermore into the minds of the American male, and gay men should be proud of the key role they've played in a standout contribution to the culture of masculinity.
I was shopping for underwear, and picked up a box of Calvins that bore a quiet little sticker, “New with Profile Enhancer." Well, this kind of basket-bloomer isn't new. Such things have been marketed for years in the back pages of gay magazines. But Calvin's mainstreaming our long-suppressed secrets of basketry, taking the lid off the hamper by mass-marketing the promise that a basket can be a bushel. I'm wondering what straight guys will make of it. There's no explanation on the box of just how their profile is gonna be enhanced. But I can endorse the enlargement. I bought a pair, and It Worked! I'm so proud of my bigger basket — oops, I mean my Enhanced Profile. Maybe I'll wear them to the parade. Though it's a little clumsy walking sideways.
If you've ever enjoyed Hungarian-made porn, you're likely to find Michael Lucas' Cruising Budapest V: The Mangiatti Twins the best you've seen. With Lucas as director, we're presented no-nonsense, dialogue-free pairings, in classy environments. Excellent camerawork stays mainly on the level, and gracious lighting provides a slightly soft-focus image that's handsome and easy on the eye.
Since Lucas aims for a tighter connection between performers and encourages more foreplay than is generally allowed, there's a resulting boost in eroticism. So the cast members have been given probably the best outings they've had. And these guys are the cream of European porn — all of them attractive hunks, with a lot of meat on their bones, and a lot of uncut bone on their meat. Humpy Peter Shadow, shaved slick, tops still-boyish but handsomely maturing Rick Bauer; they're first seen with erections beguilingly stretching their briefs, and, since it's a Lucas feature which ensures there'll be lavish rimming, they tangle into a rim 69 — it got me so over-excited only 12 minutes into the movie that a climax was only gingerly avoided. A strong scene follows, with unshaven, roughed-up Flavio Valentino flip-flopping with clean-shaven Jack Laurel.
To ensure that the well-known Mangiatti Twins deliver new thrills, Michael Lucas himself shows up to give them what to my knowledge is their first on-screen topping. Certainly this is the first time they've been donged by a double-ended dildo. They go farther than before in other ways, too. I got hot when their tongues collide during a three-way kiss with a shared partner, and then entangle as they twin-suck his cock. And it's more than a little arousing to see the brothers actually kiss each other. Given contemporary taboos, this is likely as close as we'll get to seeing twins make out with each other.
Yet the twins' scene isn't the movie's best — despite doing more for Lucas than they've done for anyone, they're actually rather dull performers. No, the hottest scene would be the one with tough stud Julian Vincenzo, giving the movie's most robust performance when dominating the handsome and most willing Enrico Belaggio. You'd think that after the twins' tonguing, toying and turning over, another scene would be anti-climactic. That surely isn't so with a big, ruggedly built bruiser like Vincenzo. And what an admirable asshole Belaggio has. Watch him open that aperture wide for Vincenzo's muscular drilling, and hold the unlocked portal ajar for Vincenzo's multiple ins-and-outs. This kind of sphincter control is impressive indeed.
But I watched Cruising Budapest V during Gay Pride Month, and that provided a catch. Despite all Lucas' efforts, the film's effectiveness is dampened by the emotional remove of several performers. I've always suspected most of these Hungarians were gay for pay, and Lucas' more-than-usually candid interviews with several of his performers confirm my feeling. They're bisexual only to a degree that can be secured by payment. “It's just a job," one of my favorites casually admits. “Money talks." I can only imagine how much it had to talk to procure the acts in which the twins engage — during which they hardly overcome their usual dull-eyed remoteness. Like several other performers in the movie, they're willing to depict man-on-man sexuality while being unable to take true delight in it. We deserve better.
Enjoy the movie first, then, before the spoiler of the interviews — and especially, the "Behind the Scenes" sequence, which reveals that what appears on screen is often a false representation. Watch Lucas push numbing cream into the twins' assholes so they can endure both dildo and dick. It's the sort of thing you don't want to know about porn, yet should.
I'm generally a big fan of Lucas Entertainment product. It's coincidental that the issue came up just now. He's certainly not the only filmmaker serving up Hungarian ghoul-lash. I can't understand the popularity of these films, but most every studio these days is importing their version of same. Here's how I see it. The filmmakers pay the Hungarians, we pay the filmmakers — and get shortchanged by their hiring performers unable to mine the essential connections of gay sexuality. It's not a bad thing; it's not immoral. It's just less about Pride, and more about commerce.