Homo Domesticus by David Valdes Greenwood; DaCapo Lifelong Books, $22

Men and women in same-sex marriages must continually make choices, and these choices are significantly informed by the outsider status of their relationships. David Valdes Greenwood shows that even in Massachusetts, where gay marriage is now legal, same-sex couples face unique roadblocks to their pursuit of happiness.

Homo Domesticus is an autobiographical portrait of the author's 10-year relationship with his husband. Greenwood charts the progress of his own most significant decade from first kiss to trial separation, and finally to a legal marriage and the adoption of a child. What is remarkable about Greenwood's writing is his even-toned perspective and sense of humor. The narrative never smacks of egotism, nor does it turn didactic in an attempt to demonstrate just how a relationship should be maintained.

The author and his partner emerge as entirely fallible characters. They make mistakes, and sometimes they learn from them. Frequently this requires the assistance of a licensed therapist, or a series of them, to iron out the difficulties the men confront in satisfying their individual desires within the context of their marriage. All the issues gay male couples must face are given a moment in the spotlight, including monogamy, professional growth, housing, and just how to get over the fact that your partner refuses to pick up his own dirty underwear.

Greenwood is not a prose stylist like David Sedaris, nor does his story have the sensationalism of an Augusten Burroughs memoir. But there is a genuine and heartfelt tone to the narrative that carries the reader through to a satisfying conclusion. The most moving part of the book is the adoption process in which Greenwood and his spouse willingly sell their condo in suburban Boston and move back into a rented apartment in order to pay for the cost of adopting a child. Homo Domesticus is not only the tale of a grounded same-sex marriage, but a window into the lives of two amazingly devoted parents. Any gay man contemplating marriage, or any couple currently wedded, will find something of value here.